I was recently told that I needed to be like someone else...........are you kidding me? My thoughts are, to that statement:
Yes, I could learn a few things from that person, but to "be" like them is nonexistent to me. God created me to be like Him in His image not to be like another human being. I will forever strive to be the BEST me, I was designed to be!
Domestic violence victims pay attention: you may be going through a tough time trying to figure yourself out but that one thing that always remain the same is...........there's only ONE of you! Nobody else can be what YOU need to be for yourself, your children, your community or this society.
Domestic violence survivors pay attention: Who are you? What defines your life right now? Is it money, family, morals, your contributions to this society, etc? Remember to always look in the mirror and acknowledge who you are! If you don't, no one else will.
Often times when a person has experienced emotional and verbal abuse, they hear degrading amd disrespectful remarks from their abusive partner as such:
"You're too fat"
"You're hair isn't long enough"
"You're stupid"
"You need implants"
"Your butt is too small/big"
"You're ugly and nobody wants you"
This list could extend the time I'm allotted here, but I pray that if any of these remarks sparked up a memory for you, that you believe that you are a beautiful human being inside and out and God designed you to do His will on this earth.
Speak POSITIVE words into your life and always be confident in who YOU are!!
BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
THE EXPERIENCE
As I look back over the journey that has bought my arrival to the present, what a trip! Circumstances and decisions that were made allowed me to be at peace within my soul and have no lack thereof. I would go into remission if I didn’t allow myself the time, consistency and determination to accomplish every goal and task that was destined before me, along with prayer and fasting. I now know that the adversities and burdens that I endured, was for this experience I now have. I firmly believe God allows such trials to motivate us into better human beings that He created us for. The word says in Ecclesiastes 3:1, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven”. I believe wholeheartedly that God new the time and season where my life would impact a society of hurting women and children.
I don’t come to you nor claim that my faith in God was a seed planted at an early age. Sure I was bought up in the church but I had no clue of who God really was in my life until recent years. How did my faith grow, you ask? Daily! There were times where I too doubted the Almighty or rushed my plan to be His priority. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect, He knows all about our flaws and imperfections. The best experiences I’ve had with God were in those midnight hours, literally. I am an earthen vessel that God has called to speak loud and clear to His hurting children that suffers from domestic violence. He’s given me the courage I need to comfort those in need and the tears to share of my own experience of domestic violence. So I say again, I don’t come to you nor claim my faith in God was a seed planted at an early age. It was a tragic experience that allowed my light to shine today.
How? Why? When? Are all the questions society asks of me daily about my experience with domestic violence! Sometimes I can recall the memories and other times I know it was the Holy Spirit that has allowed such memories to be erased. Sometimes I even get frustrated because this calling requires you to lead by example. So if that means being single, not shacked up with and to a man that isn’t a part of His plan, I must pass up countless opportunities of lust. I know my rewards and completion comes from God and not mortal man.
You must know with this experience you carry the weight of a lot of wounded souls. Of stories and physical scars of women, teenagers and children that might not ever go away. This experience here is a lifestyle. It continues on in your life after you’ve conquered the storm. How do I speak so boldly and confident now about such a hidden topic? It was the years of tears and the yells of pain that allowed me to forever break the silence of domestic violence. I can reassure you, it didn’t come over night. Prayer and fasting became daily rituals not anniversaries celebrated in my life.
I ask of you, what is your experience? Have you shared it with a family member, friend, co-worker or whomever that is the nearest person sitting next to you? Someone is out there with ears awaiting the opportunity to hear your experience.
My prayer is that you be blessed in all that you do and enjoy the experience!
I don’t come to you nor claim that my faith in God was a seed planted at an early age. Sure I was bought up in the church but I had no clue of who God really was in my life until recent years. How did my faith grow, you ask? Daily! There were times where I too doubted the Almighty or rushed my plan to be His priority. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect, He knows all about our flaws and imperfections. The best experiences I’ve had with God were in those midnight hours, literally. I am an earthen vessel that God has called to speak loud and clear to His hurting children that suffers from domestic violence. He’s given me the courage I need to comfort those in need and the tears to share of my own experience of domestic violence. So I say again, I don’t come to you nor claim my faith in God was a seed planted at an early age. It was a tragic experience that allowed my light to shine today.
How? Why? When? Are all the questions society asks of me daily about my experience with domestic violence! Sometimes I can recall the memories and other times I know it was the Holy Spirit that has allowed such memories to be erased. Sometimes I even get frustrated because this calling requires you to lead by example. So if that means being single, not shacked up with and to a man that isn’t a part of His plan, I must pass up countless opportunities of lust. I know my rewards and completion comes from God and not mortal man.
You must know with this experience you carry the weight of a lot of wounded souls. Of stories and physical scars of women, teenagers and children that might not ever go away. This experience here is a lifestyle. It continues on in your life after you’ve conquered the storm. How do I speak so boldly and confident now about such a hidden topic? It was the years of tears and the yells of pain that allowed me to forever break the silence of domestic violence. I can reassure you, it didn’t come over night. Prayer and fasting became daily rituals not anniversaries celebrated in my life.
I ask of you, what is your experience? Have you shared it with a family member, friend, co-worker or whomever that is the nearest person sitting next to you? Someone is out there with ears awaiting the opportunity to hear your experience.
My prayer is that you be blessed in all that you do and enjoy the experience!
LYRICS TO "ME" by Tamia
-verse-
Love was a former owner, but quiet is renting our house
It seizes my lips from speaking, but forms a sarcastic smile
Suspense now raised one of your eyebrowes
You ask me if there's someone else
I replied yes, hell yes
You asked me if it's another man, I said no
You laughed and say is it a woman, I say yeah
Surprisingly you asked for honey's name
-chorus-
And her name is me,
And she loves me more than you'll ever know
And I finally see that loving you and loving me
Just don't seem to work at all
So patiently, she's waiting on me to tell you
That she needs love
And to choose between you two, boy you know
If I have to chosse, I choose me
-verse-
And she told me to tell you to never to hurt me again
Cuz if you haven't heard she's a bad chick
Eventhough I haven't been, no
Yet and still you try and test me by raisin' an angery hand
Put it down, put it down
I'm leavin don't try and stop me, (no)
I'm late and she is waiting, (yes)
My love for me is too much so I can't stay
-chorus-
And her name is me,
And she loves me more than you'll ever know
And I finally see that loving you and me
Just don't seem to work at all
So patiently, she's waiting on me to tell you
That she needs love
And to choose between you two, boy you know
If I have to choose, I choose me
Cuz she's actually formin' a threesome
And I'm happy that I can join them, and
There names are me, myself and I
-chorus-
And her name is me,
She loves me more than you'll ever know
I finally see that loving you and loving me
Just don't seem to work work at all
So patiently, she's waiting on me to tell you
That she needs love,
And to choose between you two, boy you know
If I have to choose, I choose me
She's waiting on me to tell you that she needs love,
Gotta choose between you two, and you know
And if I have to chosse,
I choose me, me, I gotta go with me
Love was a former owner, but quiet is renting our house
It seizes my lips from speaking, but forms a sarcastic smile
Suspense now raised one of your eyebrowes
You ask me if there's someone else
I replied yes, hell yes
You asked me if it's another man, I said no
You laughed and say is it a woman, I say yeah
Surprisingly you asked for honey's name
-chorus-
And her name is me,
And she loves me more than you'll ever know
And I finally see that loving you and loving me
Just don't seem to work at all
So patiently, she's waiting on me to tell you
That she needs love
And to choose between you two, boy you know
If I have to chosse, I choose me
-verse-
And she told me to tell you to never to hurt me again
Cuz if you haven't heard she's a bad chick
Eventhough I haven't been, no
Yet and still you try and test me by raisin' an angery hand
Put it down, put it down
I'm leavin don't try and stop me, (no)
I'm late and she is waiting, (yes)
My love for me is too much so I can't stay
-chorus-
And her name is me,
And she loves me more than you'll ever know
And I finally see that loving you and me
Just don't seem to work at all
So patiently, she's waiting on me to tell you
That she needs love
And to choose between you two, boy you know
If I have to choose, I choose me
Cuz she's actually formin' a threesome
And I'm happy that I can join them, and
There names are me, myself and I
-chorus-
And her name is me,
She loves me more than you'll ever know
I finally see that loving you and loving me
Just don't seem to work work at all
So patiently, she's waiting on me to tell you
That she needs love,
And to choose between you two, boy you know
If I have to choose, I choose me
She's waiting on me to tell you that she needs love,
Gotta choose between you two, and you know
And if I have to chosse,
I choose me, me, I gotta go with me
LYRICS TO "SURVIVOR" by Destiny's Child
(Verse 1)
Now that you are out of my life,
I'm so much better,
You thought that I'd be weak without ya,
But I'm stronger,
You thought that I'd be broke without ya,
But I'm richer,
You thought that I'd be sad without ya,
I laugh harder,
You thought I wouldn't grow without ya,
Now I'm wiser,
You thought that I'd be helpless without ya,
But I'm smarter,
You thought that I'd be stressed without ya,
But I'm chillin'
You thought I wouldn't sell without ya,
Sold nine million.
[Chorus]
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).
(Verse 2)
Thought I couldn't breathe without you,
I'm inhalin'
You thought I couldn't see without you,
Perfect vision,
You thought I couldn't last without ya,
But I'm lastin'
You thought that I would die without ya,
But I'm livin'
Thought that I would fail without ya,
But I'm on top,
Though it would be over by now,
But it won't stop,
You thought that I would self-destruct,
But I'm still here,
Even in my years to come,
I'm still gon' be here.
[Chorus]
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).
(Bridge)
I'm wishin' you the best,
Pray that you are blessed,
Much success, no stress, and lots of happiness,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna blast you on the radio,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna lie on you or your family, yo,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna hate you in the magazine,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna compromise my Christianity,
(I'm better than that)
You know I'm not gonna diss you on the Internet
Cause my momma told me better than that.
[Chorus]
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).
Oh
(Oh)
Oh
(Oh)
Oh
(Oh)
Oh
(Oh)
Oh
(Oh)
Oh
(Oh)
Oh
(Oh)
Oh
(Oh)
After all of the darkness and sadness,
Still comes happiness,
If I surround myself with positive things,
I'll gain prosperity.
[Chorus]
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what)(Don't stop me now)
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).
[Chorus]
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).
Now that you are out of my life,
I'm so much better,
You thought that I'd be weak without ya,
But I'm stronger,
You thought that I'd be broke without ya,
But I'm richer,
You thought that I'd be sad without ya,
I laugh harder,
You thought I wouldn't grow without ya,
Now I'm wiser,
You thought that I'd be helpless without ya,
But I'm smarter,
You thought that I'd be stressed without ya,
But I'm chillin'
You thought I wouldn't sell without ya,
Sold nine million.
[Chorus]
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).
(Verse 2)
Thought I couldn't breathe without you,
I'm inhalin'
You thought I couldn't see without you,
Perfect vision,
You thought I couldn't last without ya,
But I'm lastin'
You thought that I would die without ya,
But I'm livin'
Thought that I would fail without ya,
But I'm on top,
Though it would be over by now,
But it won't stop,
You thought that I would self-destruct,
But I'm still here,
Even in my years to come,
I'm still gon' be here.
[Chorus]
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).
(Bridge)
I'm wishin' you the best,
Pray that you are blessed,
Much success, no stress, and lots of happiness,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna blast you on the radio,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna lie on you or your family, yo,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna hate you in the magazine,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna compromise my Christianity,
(I'm better than that)
You know I'm not gonna diss you on the Internet
Cause my momma told me better than that.
[Chorus]
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).
Oh
(Oh)
Oh
(Oh)
Oh
(Oh)
Oh
(Oh)
Oh
(Oh)
Oh
(Oh)
Oh
(Oh)
Oh
(Oh)
After all of the darkness and sadness,
Still comes happiness,
If I surround myself with positive things,
I'll gain prosperity.
[Chorus]
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what)(Don't stop me now)
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).
[Chorus]
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).
DON'T HAVE A VICTIM MENTALITY
I know it's hard to get out of life happiness, especially when you've been given so little. Let me introduce you all to some expressions victims of domestic violence often tell themselves:
"Nobody will ever love me again"
"I can't walk away, who's gonna take care of me and/or of my child(ren)?"
"Nobody was ever there for me"
"I've always been in abusive relationships"
"My foster parent(s) abused me too so it must be something wrong with me"
"I can't go back to school, he said my ideas were stupid"
If you made a mental note of checking yes to any of those expressions, it's time to refocus your mind and begin the journey of becoming a new you!
A victim sometimes gets used to the abuser downgrading, disrespecting, name calling and a host of other things done physically, verbally and emotionally to them, that seeing a positive outcome in their life is almost nonexitent. But thank God, whatever man(society) says, He has the ultimate say so over our lives. Start speaking life into your situations:
"Someday I WILL find love and happiness again"
"I CAN walk away from this unhealthy relationship so that me and my children will be safe and live a properous life"
"Unfortunately, nobody was there for me growing up, but I CAN help others get through their tough situations and become a role model to others"
"I've always been in an abusive relationship, but NOW is the time to break that cycle!"
"My foster parent(s) abusing me was wrong but I AM a WONDERFUL person inside and out!"
"I CAN go back to school because I have the GREATEST ideas to contribute to today's society?
Try putting positive notes in your purse/wallet, bathroom mirror, refrigerator door, desk at work or home, etc. Read those positive notes DAILY and watch you walk a different walk, talk a different talk, dream bigger dreams. I used to implement my positive notes in my prayers everyday too. Nobody wants to be around people who are always putting themselves down. Or try using an inspirational word everyday and use it in a sentence that describes you or your goals, visions and/or hobbies. For example here are a list of POSITIVE words:
INSPIRATION
LOVE
AFFIRM
COURAGE DETERMINATION HEALTHY SUCCESS PROSPEROUS
ENCOURAGE
POWER
BEAUTIFUL
ANEW
AWESOME
ACCOUNTABILITY
RESPECT
OUTSTANDING
GOAL(S)
Fix the things and areas of your life that you want changed. Rid excess drama, people, clothes and any other baggage that you are carrying around with you that's a roadblock to your breakthrough.
After you get rid of the negative victim mentality, BREAK THE SILENCE of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!
"Nobody will ever love me again"
"I can't walk away, who's gonna take care of me and/or of my child(ren)?"
"Nobody was ever there for me"
"I've always been in abusive relationships"
"My foster parent(s) abused me too so it must be something wrong with me"
"I can't go back to school, he said my ideas were stupid"
If you made a mental note of checking yes to any of those expressions, it's time to refocus your mind and begin the journey of becoming a new you!
A victim sometimes gets used to the abuser downgrading, disrespecting, name calling and a host of other things done physically, verbally and emotionally to them, that seeing a positive outcome in their life is almost nonexitent. But thank God, whatever man(society) says, He has the ultimate say so over our lives. Start speaking life into your situations:
"Someday I WILL find love and happiness again"
"I CAN walk away from this unhealthy relationship so that me and my children will be safe and live a properous life"
"Unfortunately, nobody was there for me growing up, but I CAN help others get through their tough situations and become a role model to others"
"I've always been in an abusive relationship, but NOW is the time to break that cycle!"
"My foster parent(s) abusing me was wrong but I AM a WONDERFUL person inside and out!"
"I CAN go back to school because I have the GREATEST ideas to contribute to today's society?
Try putting positive notes in your purse/wallet, bathroom mirror, refrigerator door, desk at work or home, etc. Read those positive notes DAILY and watch you walk a different walk, talk a different talk, dream bigger dreams. I used to implement my positive notes in my prayers everyday too. Nobody wants to be around people who are always putting themselves down. Or try using an inspirational word everyday and use it in a sentence that describes you or your goals, visions and/or hobbies. For example here are a list of POSITIVE words:
INSPIRATION
LOVE
AFFIRM
COURAGE DETERMINATION HEALTHY SUCCESS PROSPEROUS
ENCOURAGE
POWER
BEAUTIFUL
ANEW
AWESOME
ACCOUNTABILITY
RESPECT
OUTSTANDING
GOAL(S)
Fix the things and areas of your life that you want changed. Rid excess drama, people, clothes and any other baggage that you are carrying around with you that's a roadblock to your breakthrough.
After you get rid of the negative victim mentality, BREAK THE SILENCE of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
A Humble Experience
Once again, I am eternally grateful for the opportunity of being the special guest on Laugh & Tears blog talk radio. That was the first time I was on a live radio show and enjoyed the comments, questions, chats online, etc. Of course, if you're wondering, the topic was Domestic Violence. We discussed personal testimonies, recognized and defined exactly what domestic violence is. The audience was able to identify in their own lives if they had ever been abused physically, emotionally, sexually and so on. Like myself, I had never heard of the term "domestic violence" or even knew that I was in an abusive relationship. As oddly as it seems, you would've thought I knew what was going on as far as the termonology. But sadly, like myself, ALOT of people DON'T know the hidden signs or redflags of Domestic Violence or are aware that they are even in an abusive relationship.
We also dicussed how most people are and have been EMOTIONALLY and VERBALLY abused rather than physically abused throughout their life. Society doesn't associate the emotional and verbal abuse in the same sentence as physical abuse. One word remains the same that ties these unions together...........ABUSE!!! I'm sure the listeners were able to reflect back over their lives and did a quick checklist to see if they had been or are being emotionally and verbally abused.
There was a question that came up on the online chat that asked basically, how can sexual abuse or rape be implemented in a marriage union? An answer to that question lies here: If you are married or single, whenever force, manipulation, unacceptable acts or positions that your mate is not in agreement with and is using it for the gain of power and control is SEXUAL ABUSE. Anytime a form of force, whether it's by a physical action or emotional and verbal mechanisms, is used to get sex, is wrong.
If you are in a domestic violence situation plan a SAFETY PLAN carefully. I mentioned on the show how I always kept toiletries or travel kit bags in my car or outside of the house incase an altercation arised and I had to leave. There were plenty of times and nights I slept in my car or ran away to a safe haven. Having simple things like toothbrushes, combs and brushes, extra pair of clothes and underwear, change in case I needed to use a payphone if my cellphone was left behind and this list could on. I'm not suggesting that you run away repeatedly. I'm simply giving you options and prayerfully available resources and tools to implement whenever you decide to leave your abusive partner. In addition to a having a safety plan, make several different copies of your Order of Protection if you have one. Leave them in your safe haven places: friends house, under a plant outside or anywhere that you feel you can get a hold of it if the times comes and you can't get access to your original copy.
If you missed the opportunity to listen in on the live show, please feel free to log on at www.blogtalkradio.com/laugh_tears to hear the entire discussion.
I enjoy the calling on my life which is to raise the awareness of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.... as always I leave you with this: HELP BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
We also dicussed how most people are and have been EMOTIONALLY and VERBALLY abused rather than physically abused throughout their life. Society doesn't associate the emotional and verbal abuse in the same sentence as physical abuse. One word remains the same that ties these unions together...........ABUSE!!! I'm sure the listeners were able to reflect back over their lives and did a quick checklist to see if they had been or are being emotionally and verbally abused.
There was a question that came up on the online chat that asked basically, how can sexual abuse or rape be implemented in a marriage union? An answer to that question lies here: If you are married or single, whenever force, manipulation, unacceptable acts or positions that your mate is not in agreement with and is using it for the gain of power and control is SEXUAL ABUSE. Anytime a form of force, whether it's by a physical action or emotional and verbal mechanisms, is used to get sex, is wrong.
If you are in a domestic violence situation plan a SAFETY PLAN carefully. I mentioned on the show how I always kept toiletries or travel kit bags in my car or outside of the house incase an altercation arised and I had to leave. There were plenty of times and nights I slept in my car or ran away to a safe haven. Having simple things like toothbrushes, combs and brushes, extra pair of clothes and underwear, change in case I needed to use a payphone if my cellphone was left behind and this list could on. I'm not suggesting that you run away repeatedly. I'm simply giving you options and prayerfully available resources and tools to implement whenever you decide to leave your abusive partner. In addition to a having a safety plan, make several different copies of your Order of Protection if you have one. Leave them in your safe haven places: friends house, under a plant outside or anywhere that you feel you can get a hold of it if the times comes and you can't get access to your original copy.
If you missed the opportunity to listen in on the live show, please feel free to log on at www.blogtalkradio.com/laugh_tears to hear the entire discussion.
I enjoy the calling on my life which is to raise the awareness of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.... as always I leave you with this: HELP BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Thursday, July 8, 2010
DON'T GET LOST
Many a times in the beginning stages of relationships, women allow themselves to get lost in their new beau. Simply put, we get caught in their dreams, goals, strengths, weaknesses, hobbies and even the friends and company they keep. The problem occurs when the woman neglects her passions and previous goals to gratify their partner.
WARNING: If this is you, you're headed down a road of self-destruction, lack of control and previous boundaries you once had and even vulnerable to the outcome of an abusive partner.
It's ok to share common interests and goals with a potentional mate while dating. The key is not to be so consumed in your partner's life that you neglect your own. Here are some signs that you may recognize yourself doing:
Always engaging in his activities and/or hobbies
Going out or hanging around his friends and rarely seeing yours
"Girls Night Out" with your friends, doesn't exist anymore
Pressuring you about having sex to establish a completed relationship
Your spiritual life is put on hold due to the extreme attention and time you've invested in this new relationship
Partner seems aggitated, angry or threatens to leave the relationship if and whenever you choose to do something without your partner
This list can go and on...........but just so you can get a glimpse of where you are in the relationship and prayerfully this list was a prevention tool to keep you from a heartbreak later on down the road.
After you survived domestic violence and on a healthy road to dating again, be mindful of your thoughts and feelings while dating at all times. DON'T GET LOST and remember to BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!!
WARNING: If this is you, you're headed down a road of self-destruction, lack of control and previous boundaries you once had and even vulnerable to the outcome of an abusive partner.
It's ok to share common interests and goals with a potentional mate while dating. The key is not to be so consumed in your partner's life that you neglect your own. Here are some signs that you may recognize yourself doing:
Always engaging in his activities and/or hobbies
Going out or hanging around his friends and rarely seeing yours
"Girls Night Out" with your friends, doesn't exist anymore
Pressuring you about having sex to establish a completed relationship
Your spiritual life is put on hold due to the extreme attention and time you've invested in this new relationship
Partner seems aggitated, angry or threatens to leave the relationship if and whenever you choose to do something without your partner
This list can go and on...........but just so you can get a glimpse of where you are in the relationship and prayerfully this list was a prevention tool to keep you from a heartbreak later on down the road.
After you survived domestic violence and on a healthy road to dating again, be mindful of your thoughts and feelings while dating at all times. DON'T GET LOST and remember to BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!!
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