DOMESTIC VIOLENCE GUIDING PRINCIPLES

1.) Domestic violence is a crime

2.) Domestic violence is about power and control

3.) The perpretrator of the violence is solely responsible for his behavior

4.) Violence is a learned behavior and new behaviors can be learned

5.) While alcohol/drug use is associated with violence, it is not a cause, they are seperate issues and must be addressed as such

6.) Counseling for the victim or marital counseling is not appropiate to address the violence

7.) Perpetrators of domestic violence tend to minimize and deny their use of violence and blame the victim and other outside factors for their violence

8.) Treatment of the abuser involves challenging the beliefs that support and justify the use of violence

9.) Victim safety is the priority along with abuser accountability

10.) Violence is a choice

*Information was collected from the 40-Hour Domestic Violence Training Manual Provided by Connections for Abused Women and their Children (CAWC)*

BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!

IT FEELS GOOD TO GET BACK TO MY ROOTS

Well hello there, it seems like it's been ages since I've last spoken to you, my faithful readers. I think with each growth spurts in life, there comes a time to reflect back on your growth process. Take the good things you've learned and use that to motivate you, to climb higher onto your next set of goals. Don't beat yourself up over the things, people and places that didn't work out for you. Learn from those setbacks and move on as well. Where have I been? Funny you asked. I have been enjoying my life and learning from all of the good and bad things that have crept along this journey with me. School, work and children keep me busy and focused at all times. I have been working on new ideas for my BREAK THE SILENCE movement. Preparing myself to take things to the next levels in breaking the silence of domestic violence. My goals are:

* To open a shelter in the Chicagoland area that house women with male and female children

* Provide housing and assistance to victims and survivors of domestic violence

* Start a scholarship foundation for African American teens and adults

* Develop creative writing and artistic resources for youth that live in the urban areas of Chicago

* Provide mentoring and parenting programs for teen moms

So as you can read from this short list of my personal goals, I've been busy preparing for my legacy that I will leave behind one day. I had to regroup and started back, accepting speaking engagement offers and writing again. I had to get back to my roots in order to remember what my goals were and why they are my goals. It says something to me when others remember you and the growth process you've endured. But the revelation comes to me, when others can speak life and positive influences into your future. Remember, I didn't choose this lifestyle voluntarily, I was blessed to have experienced it (domestic violence), learn more about it and share my knowledge with others, daily.

I challenge you today, to get those vision boards, journals or whatever you use to motivate yourself, out of the closets and get back to your roots of existence. Recall whatever made you passionate about your goals. Challenge yourself to step outside of the norms of your community and within your immediate society, and implement those goals of yours by:

*Starting with one step at a time!

*Work with what works and toss out the rest!

*Let no one tell you, "it's impossible"!

*Network, network, network, network with your peers, employees, family, friends and in your community!

I promise you as a witness myself, start somewhere positive and watch your goals not only be birthed before your eyes, but you'll even get to stick around for awhile and watch those same goals, grow.

HELP BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!

Hairror Stories Part 1

VIDEO BLOG: THE LOC JOURNEY BEGINS!!!!

SINGLE PARENT BLOG

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ARTICLE FROM THE CHICAGO SUN-TIMES

Read the article below and let's discuss it afterwards:

CHARGE: Man out on bail tries to kill girlfriend

http://www.suntimes.com/mobile/3573259-463/wyatt-keane-police-girlfriend-kill.html

Where do I begin? This article was touching but somehow exposed triumph of the victim. Lover tries to kill her once, goes to jail, gets out and tries a second time. A lot of safety concerns come to my mind initially while reading this. He was inside of her apartment without there being a report of a "forced entry" so needless to say, she let him inside. I'm sure she had her reason(s) as to why but my thing is this: if he did it once, he's capable of doing it again. Now I'm not that cold hearted to believe that people can't change. But if someone tried to KILL me once there is no way if at all possible, that I would want to be in the same room with that person, without law officials present.

I'm not here to judge her decisions, I only read exactly what you read. This is a lesson for all of us to learn from and I hope that Peggy Keane is somewhere sharing her lessons learned as well. Once you've been involved with an abusive partner, it's hard work to physically, emotionally and spiritually disattach yourself from them. That's why the theory in domestic violence says that a victim will leave their abusive partner at the bare minimum of six times before they decide to leave the relationship/marriage for good.

There are cases where victims and survivors may have to meet at a public location with their abuser, but please take all neccessary precautions when doing so: create a buddy system and get law officials involve. This is the number one reason to me that the death rates in domestic altercations or battery cases continue to rise. I'll take the ambitious lawyer hat off for a second and just be honest. The woman usually gets killed whenever she decides to go back. Meaning, she's packed up her belongings or ran out in the middle of the night and did not have time to pack diapers or grab personal belongings. This is that moment where she decides to "go back" into the home and then the tragedy usually happens: he's awaiting her arrival and kills her.

In this particular case, he was inside the apartment with Keane and her friend. Ladies, whatever he has to say, let be either in front of the judge, police or outside of your door until the police arrives. This one decision to let him in almost cost her, her life! As a survivor, I am aware of my surroundings the majority of the time and exercise my rights to the fullest. Report any strange behaviors you see or hear. Always keep your Order of Protection handy, so that the officers can get right down to business once they arrive.

I hope this article has opened up your eyes and realize that domestic violence is a SERIOUS crime and we all can work together to BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!

HOPEFULLY SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS by JERYSE JACKSON

SORROW, PAIN, JEALOUSY, POVERTY, HOPELESSNESS, CORRUPTION, SICKNESS, HOMELESSNESS, DISRESPECT, JUDGEMENTS, HATE AND GREED.....y r our minds trained to believe NEGATIVE IS REALISTIC AND POSITIVE IS UNREALISTI .... Y WHEN SOMETHING IS GOOD HAPPENS IT IS SO UNBELIEVEABLE BUT BAD IS SO ACCEPTABLE .... STOP JUDGING... all homeless people r not crackheads, all mean people r mean for a reason find out y, say good mornin to a stranger sometimes u just might make their day, so what u aint rich, someone out there would love your job, dont b mad cuz someone looks nice, work on what makes u look good, y do people have to hurt each other to get ahead, Y DO WE WASTE SO MUCH TIME ON THINGS THAT DON'T MATTER, y dont we fall in love with someone else, y do we express how much we love people when they are no longer here.......MAKE UR TIME HERE IN THIS ATMOSPHERE WORTH SOMETHING

BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!!