Domestic Violence: Economic Abuse

Some people either can't believe this form of abuse exists, to ashamed to admit that they've been economically/financially abused and others just ignore it.  Whatever the case, let us discuss it:

Economic abuse is when an intimate partner controls your access to resources through the following:

• transportation
• money
• food
• clothing
• shelter
• harassment/stalking you at work 
• threatening your coworkers, boss, etc
• disrupting work/school opportunities
• steals money from you 

Tips for victims that's economically abused:

• Even though you are working ...... THERE'S HELP FOR YOU OUT THERE.  Consider applying for public aid for emergency food stamps and cash assistance.

• You can seek or apply for child support payments.  The father of your children is legally responsible for them.  Talk to a lawyer to see what's best for you and your children to SURVIVE!!!!

• File for Crime Victim Compensation if you have been beaten and incurred medical bills and lost wages due to the crime.

• FIND A NEW HOME, JOB, DAYCARE, etc.!!!!!!!!

Whatever you are going through financially, there are available resources out there for you and your children.  Be SAFE and know that God is with you every step of the way!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!!!

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. 

Honore de Balzac, author 

If you're a mom, you're probably up answering all of the beautiful text messages, tweets, Facebook messages, phone calls, etc from loved ones, wishing you a Happy Mother's Day (so am I, you're not alone).  Being a mother is a SPECIAL gift in and of itself in various and sometimes strange ways.  Strange because for most of us, motherhood has changed our perspectives on life.  We stop thinking about ourselves ALL of the time and now share our hearts with our beautiful children.  

To the mother's whose celebrating their 1st Mother's Day today, get ready, get ready, get ready, to have an awesome experience of your life!  With hand written cards created by your toddler at a later date, roses, cards and balloons from your teen (asking to borrow your car, give them spending money to go out with their friends, yes I know, it's your day, but that means nothing to teens LOL).  Moms this is a great opportunity for your teens to do those chores you just don't feel like doing and please use, "It's Mother's Day, I'm OFF", and onto watching your once bundle of joy become an adult and also a parent.  

Mother's have always been pillars of our communities since the beginning.  Look at our beautiful first mother, Eve,  that was created in the midst of God's garden.  Let us not forget our ancestors and our living elders, from the great great great grannies to our granny on this day, who have passed down many family traditions to us all.  

We are blessed to be mothers and share an unlimited bond of sisterhood between us.  Today, enjoy your day, kiss and hug your kids, no matter their age.  Check on our elderly moms.  Let the word of the Lord plant seeds of peace, strength and courage inside of you as you sit in the church pews today (say a prayer for me too).  

Whatever you do today, ENJOY IT, after all it's YOUR day!!!!!!

COME GET YOUR ZUMBA ON WITH A NEW ME FOUNDATION, INC

Going through Seasons

Earlier, I posted a status on my Facebook page about going through seasons of increase as well as  decrease.  Sometimes in life your harvest will be plenty and sometimes you feel like God has led you into the wilderness.  Sometimes He has, think of all of the biblical encounters in the wilderness.  That was where God fed His children the Word, and I believe He still provides us with the Bread of Life in the wilderness today.

When you're so busy doing positive things in your life and in the lives of others, you sometimes don't recognize the obvious wilderness that could be your current season.  If you study the word of God like I do, He commands us to be content in any season.  I like the analogy of the four seasons (spring, summer, fall and winter).  With each season, NEW things unfold and BAD/UNHEALTHY things wash or fade away.  

For the Spring, I believe, God prepares you for what's to come.  That's when you nurture your gifts and talents.  Start the rehearsals, change closet clothes around, plant gardens, dusts, do a little or a lot for some of us, what they call "spring cleaning" in our homes as well as in our personal lives.  In the Spring, we break out new vision boards and speak life into new goals and dreams for our families and careers.  You basically get ready, for what lies ahead.

Now the Summertime is tricky, to me at least.  In the summer, we get a little relaxed or comfortable.  Since we've planted and prepared ourselves in the Spring, we feel the need to relax, right and watch our harvest grow?  NO, NO, and chile NO.  See the summer time is also the devil's busiest season.  Too many people relaxing and not fully dressed in their spiritual armor and guess what?  He loves that and ATTACKS you from every angle.  See in the summer time, the atmosphere is moving and shaking and those things that look pretty at first sight such as the beginning of a toxic relationship pretending to be a healthy one, a job offer that looks good on paper but eventually will tear you away from your family if you take it, etc.     Those kinds of things, appear, for a lack of better words, in the summertime.  If we are not connected to the Source in the summertime, the things we planted in our lives back in the Spring, will be destroyed.  If you live in Chicago, this is the deadliest season for homicides amongst our youth.  I ask you to take notice of the many earthquakes, tsunami's, volcano eruptions and hurricanes.  Those all happen in the summertime early fall months.  Reading this book, 7 Days of Atonement by Steve Munsey helped point that out to me.  Physical science obviously, is shifting in the Earth and galaxy during the summertime and mankind better pay attention.  

Next up we have the Fall season.  This is the time where we gather what we've grown in the previous seasons and get ready to bring inside to prepare for the winter.  We usually have our last family gatherings together.  Kids go back to school.  The workloads increase because everyone is back from vacation, which results to longer hours at the gig and more time away from families.  We are starting our savings over from spending all of it traveling and having the latest fashions and accessories for our vacations.  Fall season to me is the getting things back in order time.  So you see the enemy will lurk around you, but he won't bother you as much.  He'll purposely let you rebuild to wait for the appropiate moment to attack, kill and destroy you.  Just when you've had enough of this back and forth relationship between you and the enemy and you're ready to throw in the towel, the Potter begins to respin His wheel of your life and gives you strength and grace to keep going forward, into the next season......

Finally, we have arrived at Winter.  Winter is to me, the best time that we hear from God.  Why because the weather sometimes forces us to and other times, there's not too much to distract us in the winter time.  We've survived hell all through out the previous seasons and God has watched and saved us, even now in the winter.  During this time, you see those extra pounds showing up on your body and you begin working out.  That toxic relationship was over at the end of summer, but it took you all of the fall to get over it and now in the winter, you decide it's time to move on.  That job you just had to have is NOT working out and you began putting your resume out there, again.   All of these things are done behind the scenes, I want to add even more, because you decided to finally listen to God and move to the drum of His beat.  Sometimes God have to work on you in PRIVATE in order for things to manifest in public on your behalf.  In the winter is when everything is covered in snow or dried up bearing no fruit.  If you are wise, you will reap what you have sown in the winter and become bff's with the winter.  Once the seasons reoccur after the winter, watch and see and mark my words, you WILL see new beginnings again and this time, you will appreciate them more and nurture them more. 

I used the analology of seasons to help you identify which season you are in currently.  Although it is spring time now, you could be in a winter season.  But whatever season you're in, know that God has a plan that He will carry you through it and bring you out of it, better than ever.

Be blessed!

You've Come too Far .... to be Defeated by Rainy Days

Sunny days and rainy days have somethings that we all need to continue to push forward on days that we want to throw in the towel.  I encourage each of you to use this metaphor somehow and began a NEW life towards your dreams and goals while helping others pursue theirs.

Life for most of us is sunny, with minor tweaks and adjustments, our lives would be a ray of sunshine all of the time.  Now there's some days that it drizzles.  Those drizzle days are small setups or tests to see if you are prepared for that storm that's headed your way.  Car won't start?  Left your wallet or phone at home?  iPhone carriers, drop your phone and the screen cracks?  Oh chile, those are the drizzle days.  I believe that those of us who have a calling on our lives (we all do), the storms of life feel as though they were meant to take us O-U-T!  It amazes me to see people, including myself, that a situation that should have killed us or defeated us, DIDN'T!!!!! Instead, we are still walking around, creating atmospheres of peace, healing, deliverance and victory in our lives as well as in others.

Ok now that we have an understanding of the drizzle days, let's move on towards those rainy days...

That statement that says, WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS, is a perfect way to describe these particular days we experience. All hell breaks loose in your life, all at the same time, the enemy comes in like a flood in your life and you feel like what else could wrong?  Hell breaking loose such as your business isn't where you want it nor do you see the funds to continue to operate it at a full capacity, a child of yours is in trouble (as usual), your spouse just left you, that People's Gas bill is due at the same time the rent/mortgage, car note and cable bills are due, but you only have $50 in cash that has to lasts you a few more days.  Oh please believe me, robbing Peter to pay Paul is present in our lives.  Some of us are one paycheck away from poverty.   On those rainy days, you say "Lord, I can't take it anymore, You have to do something!"  God, hears you and sees what you're going through, those sounds of thunder you hear, is the mighty sounds of God preparing YOUR breakthrough.  He's drowning and removing those toxic things and people in your life.  Just as he did for Noah and building that ark.  You have to listen for God's instructions on the rainy days and trust that when the sun shines again, He'll say, "Good, thy faithful servant, I knew you can make it."  The thunder and lightening I believe is how He shakes up and alter what was present in your life and creates a NEW day of sunshine of strength and courage that you didn't even know you had.  Most people want to just stay in and sleep whenever it rains (I'm so guilty of this too), see that to me, is a set up from satan.  He wants you to feel so comfortable in your storms and not push forward or persevere.  The enemy knows the plans God have for your life and trust and believe me, he roams around the earth looking for ways to defeat you, kill your dreams, tarnish your morals, steal your husbands joy in your marriage, create chaos in your business by robbing it of the financial resources you need to sustain it.  Fear not child of God, go through that storm on that rainy day and speak the Word over your life, to the enemy and God told us that when we speak the Word, the devil has to flee!

Finally, enjoy the rainy days because I also believe that that's when God is watering the seeds He's planted in you and is awaiting to see your growth and to see you carry out, what He created you for.  Most of the time, we have to experience rainy days in order to hear from God and BE STILL long enough to hear His voice.  I pray that you open your spiritual eyes and acknowledge on your rainy days that God is working on your behalf against the plans of the devil so be patient.  After all, He created YOU and the world so He knows how to fix EVERYTHING!  Just be patient.  You've come too far to be defeated by rainy days.... get ready, the sun will shine again!

Are You A Karla? (Short Story)

Lightening and thundering were the melodious sounds outside of Karla Monroe’s windows.  She was sound asleep and oblivious to the sounds of God’s master plans happening in her neighborhood.  It’s amazing to see how God blesses us sometimes with sunshine and at other times, He will allow floods of rain to impose in our lives.

In the heart of Washington, DC where on any given day, Congress could be creating new gun laws or the President of the United States could simply be taking a stroll in the Rose Garden meditating on how to end the latest war over in the Middle East. 

Karla had been a native of the legendary district since 1976.  As a child, Karla grew up in a two parent household of a middle class status and had a pet goldfish that she called Milan.  Milan the goldfish became Karla’s best friend because she wasn’t allowed to go outside too often with her classmates.  Her parents were very strict, mainly her dad for reasons unbeknownst to Karla at the time. 

She was pretty much like most women her age, focused in her career and on the rise to a life filled with loneliness if she didn’t settle down and marry, soon.  Marriage was the furthest thing from Karla’s mind at the age of thirty seven years old, and living in the free world’s capital.  Karla had not been married before but she wasn’t celibate at all towards the local gentlemen that she repeatedly slept with at her disposal.   Karla philosophy was to obtain pleasure and send the men home begging for more of her while she continuously climbed the success ladder.  After all, who needs a man hanging around all the time when a maintenance man got the same jobs done but only quicker.    

Karla suddenly woke up.  She had been dreaming of another cup full of romantic endeavors that her and latest, very much married beaux, Marcus Kleen.  Now Marcus was of the elite.  He was a very wealthy congressman and where there’s wealth, there’s always some kind infidelity involved too.  They met a campaign regarding the upcoming United States violence prevention strategies.  His skin was glowing of fleshly caramel.  They were introduced and instantly a shock of temptation ran through both of their bodies.  Months later, the two met for secret romantic getaways, Marcus spoiled Karla with luxury gifts and elite memberships.  She longed to be near him all of the time.  His precious wife was so naïve and only looked the perfect part on paper.  Marcus like most married and cheating men, kept the wife at home and the mistress out in the public with him. 

Karla didn’t mind her enhanced lifestyle one bit.  She didn’t check her morality one bit when she got mean stares from other women that crossed her paths or the men who assumed she would give them the same pleasures as that of Marcus Kleen.  She rarely discussed her involvement with Marcus with anyone not even her longtime friend, Kenzu Muhammad.  Kenzu often gave her spiritual advise which mean t to her basically that her sins were giving her a first class ticket to hell if she didn’t release the toxin Marcus Kleen.  Karla adored Kenzu.  He was more like her brother than her best friend.  They were next door neighbors since birth.  They shared a bond closer than anyone she knew of. 

Now Kenzu wasn’t your average Joe either.  His mane was loc’d and he was always the center of attention for the ladies when he walked in a room.  No one met his spiritual standards enough to become his leading lady let alone virtuous wife.  He dated casually but by the time the night ended, he knew there wouldn’t be a second or third date to follow with the women.  Karla teased him all the time about being too stiff and picky when it comes to women.  He always called her a heathen and then they would carry on as usual plotting their next professional and personal endeavors. 

Marcus wasn’t too kind to Kenzu whenever they were in the same room.  The universe often shifted and gave men some type of intuition, the same as it gives to women.  Marcus felt inferior of Kenzu, Kenzu smelled it and used it to his advantage to capture a dog in heat, every time.  Kenzu knew that Marcus had no kind of genuine feelings or real plans of commitment with Karla other than in an intimate setting.  Anybody except Karla could see that Marcus was just being the typical man in power and needed his ego stroked by other women instead of from his wife.  Needless to say, Kenzu avoided Marcus as much as he could.  He hated to see his friend in such a disrespectful stage towards herself and she does not see the damages she will soon be causing herself and those affected by her choices.  As her friend, he does the best that he can under the circumstances, for now.

Karla began to unravel the covers and grabbed her phone and danced over to her favorite spot in her bedroom.  She checked her emails and text messages that could’ve came in throughout the night.  There’s one text from Marcus asking her to meet him at their usual café for bagels and coffee before both of their workdays began.  She tossed her phone on her bed in an expeditious way that made her spine tingle at the thought of her flirtatious manners her and Marcus will have under the tablecloths at the café.

Upon Karla’s arrival at the café, exactly five minutes earlier than Marcus, she couldn’t help notice the change in the scenery for what would usually be the morning rush, this morning, no one was there but her.  She figured Marcus must have wanted her all to himself.  He was indeed the hopeless romantic she fell in love with.  The door swung open and gracefully walked in a woman with a stallion-like built physic.  She walked straight over to Karla’s cozy table in the corner and sized her up once that gave her the message clearly that she was Marcus Kleen’s WIFE and that Karla’s existence in his life would no longer exists after this exchange between the two women.  For reassurance, Marcus wife looked at Karla with an intense facial expression, placed a knife on the table and walked away smoothly and out of the café.

Nervously, Karla dialed Kenzu and discussed the details of what just happened.  She questioned if Marcus set her up, did his wife carry this mission out of isolating her the one thing she knew was that, her secret relationship with Marcus was OVER.  Instead of Kenzu blaming her for her actions he met her at her house and sat with Karla for hours until she could relax her mind and wrap her mind of the fact that she now has to make healthier choices in her relationships with men.  A man will only do what you allow him to do to you.  Karla morality didn’t get tainted once she met Marcus Kleen, it started from a source deeper than that.  Now it’s time for Karla to find that deeper source or her cycle of dysfunctional relationships will continue.  She must confront her past and began to start her healing process.  People want the results of healing but shy away or discourage themselves against the process it takes to fully heal from our past.  As Karla, most women are angry and hurt by someone or something in their past and their current behaviors reflect that.  Until you conquer the fears, guilt, blame, hurt of the past, you can NEVER move forward.  Your life and pores will reek of destruction.  Reeks of destructions that will lead to social and economic injustices, lack of wisdom and discernment to know who is using you, how you’re hurting others as well as yourself.  Moving forward is a reward of some type of action step or series of steps that you’ve taken towards an objective or goal.  Learn from this short story about Karla’s life that could have cost her everything, including her self worth and make necessary steps changing your life and the people you select as partners to enhance your life and not destroy it.

Be blessed!!!!

ANGRY WOMAN SYNDROME .... GET RID OF HER NOW!!!!

You ever met someone or know of someone, in this case, a woman, who is ALWAYS angry or negative about EVERYTHING?  I know someone like that and personally, it's sad.  Sad for them and those who are hugely affected by their anger.

Case 101 ANGRY WOMAN: ..... y'all almost work my last nerves, but I love you.  Whatever that man, parents, kids, boss, did to you, don't do for you, would do for you but can't, whatever the case may be, it's YOU that is the cause of YOUR stress as well as YOUR happiness NOT them.  Now you think every man is a liar, cheater or no one can change their ways cause yo' baby daddy made mistakes and now the world isn't deemed perfect until you get revenge.

Felicia's tough love says, GET OVER YOURSELF & MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.  Your power of forgiveness molds how you will spend your days here on Earth.  Men have lied and cheated on me and I've done the same to them.  Hurt people hurt people.  But I made a promise to God, myself and my children that no one will ever again, have that much power and negative influence over my life.

My clients that I interact with mostly all come from hurting places and they have legitimate reasons why they are so hurt.  My bottom line question to them is:  How long are you gonna be hurt?  I'm all for understanding someone close to you hurt you but you can't stay in that hurt stage forever.  You have to forgive and move on from it.  Always bringing up what they did to you 5 years ago, 10 years ago, hell, even 5 minutes ago, can keep you from your next blessings.

Women, there's nothing attractive about a bitter woman.  Men like a versatile woman.  That can direct the boardroom, house and bedroom.  What man you know wants to sit around a woman angry and lifeless ALL the time?  Not just in intimate relationships but also business relationships, friendships, etc.  I am a very sociable person and it's not of my best interest to be around negative people.  I have too much POSITIVE reinforcements and investors in my life, business, family and etc to be camped around negative people.

At the end of a hard days work or week, you want to share with people who believe in you, support you, challenge you to move yourself higher in your perspective field and who can enjoy your success with you.  My partner is a WONDERFUL example of that, as well as I am to his dreams.  Even in times of disagreements we RESPECT each others thoughts, expertise and experience in the fields and projects that we are into at the moments.  EVERYONE HAS TO START FROM SOMEWHERE.

What bothers me the most are the angry women that sit around and talk negative about everybody and point their noses down at people but have yet, to make any contributions to society to help anyone else out.  I love how humble I am NOW because I was always a cocky lil thing which got me NO WHERE that I wanted to be.  It took some life experiences to turn myself down a notch and praise the Lord it happen quickly.  These women are not mad at their target that lies on the surface they are angry at something that lies much deeper than that.

Women will unite to tear another woman down in a heartbeat.  That's sad, when now women have the most opportunities, highest paying income in their homes, etc.  I've never been the type to bad mouth someone else because they have something I might want or need.  I posted on Instagram  that, talking negative about some one else's dreams will NEVER get your executed.  Speak life not death and get on with YOUR life and stop worrying about others!!!!

I'm so thankful that when I decided to go into business for myself and the communities of women I serve, it wasn't at the downfall of another woman dreams being dismissed.  I am very humble to know and see how my actions motivate others to live out their dreams and accomplish their goals.  It's a lot of hard work and any POSITIVE things going on that I can help out with, call me up.  I can speak on these things now because I was at some point that bitter and angry woman and my life was so lacking living it to my full potential.  People didn't want to be around me longer than 5 minutes and now a days, you wouldn't even know that time exists before.  We all make mistakes, we all get angry but just don't stay angry and/or keep making the same mistakes.

I know this is a different writing style that you are used to from me but I hope some seeds of healing have been placed in your hearts and minds to give you a NEW life just as I have.