TAUGHT TO BE TEACHABLE

Today I learned a valuable lesson as a survivor of Domestic Violence: There's still more work to be done within myself, in order to help my community. In other words, I too have to be taught new resources, tools, strategies, poverty level(s), sexual agendas, escape and intervention plans to be able to continuously be effective in my endeavor of BREAKING THE SILENCE!

I always feel that I am grateful for my testimony of surviving an abusive relationship and ongoing into my marriage with that partner. That experience allowed me to be able to share that testimony amongst my peers with boldness and most importantly to me, my faith in that without God in my life, I would have NEVER made it through it. With that being said, I was chatting/messaging a new dear friend of mine today and the thought just came to me that I am still available to be taught the dynamics of domestic violence. Even though I've been through countless trainings and even wrote a book about it! There are always new ways to be taught a repetitive goal, dream, career, lifestyle, etc. Don't ever think that you know "ALL" there is to know about something or even someone. Dig deeper than what's on top of the surface. As long as you open one door there are enough steps to follow to get and go thru another one.

I often wear three hats in Domestic Violence trainings, conferences, literature, media, etc:

The first "hat" is me as the victim: Some scenes remind me of what I've been through. Certain dialogue transpire emotional tears to form in my eyes. I get restless and can't keep still.......overall, sometimes I just relive the trauma I experienced at that point in my life.

The second "hat" I wear is me being the student: This hat allows my brain to go into overdrive if I'm not careful. I absorb all that the presentor/facilitator, article, short film or whatever tool is being used, to discuss Domestic Violence. I turn into a full-time student of learning. I'm focused and have high expectations of what I'm looking forward to learning and then on to implementating the data into the lives and homes of victims and survivors.

The third "hat" I wear is the or of the teacher: Now this hat is very similar to the hat of the student, except I spectate and use the data to execute new curriculums or new interventions/enhance old interventions to prevent Domestic Violence. The teacher hat allows me to make plans for my future and the lives that I will impact.

I say all of this to say simply, you're never to old, too young, too wise or feel that you're too dumb to be taught anything!

Sometimes my greatest achievements and breakthrough moments have been in a teaching environment and almost never when I'm the speaker. I learn more about this epidemic by the real life stories and professional trainings. I encourage you to BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and continue to get educated on this crime!

SPREAD YOUR WINGS

Often times, the fear of failure resides within one's own self. A lot of people ask victims of Domestic Violence, "Why do you stay?" The answers to that popular question, differ from each individual's current circumstance(s). Some stay because of lack of finances, resources, to provide a home for their child(ren) and also the answer that could define so much of why, is often given by one word, FEAR!

According to a Children's Dictionary, fear means, a strong feeling one gets when one expects danger or pain. The key word that I admire here is "expects". When you expect failure, that's typically your end result. So starting today/tonight, choose to expect greatness in your life! God created you, not people and what a marvelous job I must say He did! As a victim of domestic violence, you operate or function daily based off of your fears. Mostly fears of living around the abusive partner or fears of dying if/when you decide to leave the relationship and or marriage. As a survivor, I can remember my fears being about starting my life over from scratch. Fears of finding love again and being loved. But then God stepped in and helped me conquer ALL of those fears, with me staying in His word, believing in His word and trusting in His word!

A mother eagle teaches her baby eagle to fly by flying high in the air, releasing or dropping the baby eagle......of course the mother eventually catches the infant, but the lesson remains the same: YOU CAN'T FLY, UNLESS YOU SPREAD YOUR WINGS!!! Remember, in life to spread your wings and fly into the blessings that God has for you. Execute the fears out of your life and embrace the abundance of God's glory and favor in your life.


Domestic violence is a terrible, fearful, horrific and sometimes deadly crime for victims. God gave you wings to fly above ANY danger, statistics, negative influences and or fears of rejection or failures. Pray bold prayers to God and watch yourself soar threw this open journey of life, with confidence!


As you spread your wings, BREAK THE SILENCE of domestic violence!

No, it's NOT easy!

When you spend time with someone for however long, you have attached feelings and bonds with that person. Especially with an intimate partner/spouse. Breaking away from an abusive relationship is NEVER easy for either of the parties. Research has been done and shows that the risks are higher for a woman when she leaves or attempts to leave an abusive partner. With careful safety planning, buddy systems and available resources, the victim CAN leave the abusive partner and be safe.

The quote of most women that gets tossed up in the air by society, is when the victim says, "But I love him". Of course you do or for survivors, of course you did. But most of all, you have to dig deep down within yourself, and know that God loves you and it's time for YOU to love YOU.

Leaving behind anything you love is never easy! But with much prayer, help from family, friends, agencies, etc. and determination from yourself, makes things for you alot easier.

I got to this place of peace NOW in my life because I stood my ground during the storm and now, that storm has passed, and life for me is easy sailing. There's nothing standing in my way of giving to the world, what God gave to me, a voice to speak to a society of hurting people.

As you press through this difficult time in your life of doubt and or fear of what life has for you, know that it won't be easy at first. But the more steps you climb, the closer you'll be to your freedom and your future.

BREAK THE SILENCE!!

Someone living tomorrow is waiting on you to make a difference today!

NEW BEGINNINGS

Yesturday? No, think about today! Life for you has just begun and you still have time to pick up whatever pieces of your life that were broken and began a new beginning for yourself! A dear friend of mine reminded me today to let go of the painful memories or "holidays" that should be now washed away as just another day to me. I admit, some days are harder to forget than others, especially those memories of happier times that outweighed the darkest nights/mornings you shared with an abusive partner and or spouse. But each difficult day that goes by, rest assure you will reap the benefits of being closer to your new beginning(s) in life. Never allow those memories to be a stronghold or roadblock to the life that God intended for you to live.

There's a dream awaiting to be bought forth into this world, that you're holding inside your mind at night. A business that you've always wanted to start, a book deal waiting for you to type the first letter inorder to be published and a testimony of yours to be delivered to someone who is on the verge of giving up on their life's journey. So there's no time to think about your yesturdays......only time available to start a new beginning for yourself and those around you that depend and love you dearly.

On the day you decide to begin anew, always remember those who need that extra little push from you and BREAK THE SILENCE of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!