JUST A PHONE CALL AWAY

Yesterday I was an emotional wreck....my past kept haunting me in my mind and traveled downward to my heart. It started the night before when out of nowhere, I erupted tears of sadness to a friend about my decision on getting a divorce earlier this year. Everything on the outside of my body and life is an abundance of blessings on top of blessings, and then fear, guilt and worry always find a way back into the most intimate parts of my soul. They (fear, guilt and worry) were trying to convince me that maintaining healthy relationships with men and women were nonexistent in my life from now on. Yes, I have hundreds of Facebook friends and a Twitter addiction is not exaggerating my interaction on that social network daily. I say all of that to say, that I felt as if I have no one to talk to about the emotional roller coaster rides I experience in my life. I'm the one that is the domestic violence advocate, blogger, motivational speaker, mother, author, and so much more. So surely, I felt and honestly believed that I have to have my life in order at all times. Just reading that as I type this instantly let's me know my thinking cap clearly isn't on right. I looked at my process and the journey I've traveled over the year of 2010 and realized that a lot of steps I took to get through my divorce and even now afterwards have been spent alone or alone with God in my prayer closet. Of course that is fine and no harm done in that spiritual relationship.

My advice:You should seek God first and always while making ANY decision(s).

I'm opening up my heart to you now because I feel that if you have experienced a traumatic experience such as domestic violence, heartbreak, death, illness or whatever that has placed a pause or slowed your life down, NEVER go through it alone. Always, always share your stories, triumphs with others through those storms and continue to reach out for help, if and whenever you need to. I'll say it if you need me to: find a special person in your life that is a just a phone call away! Sometimes we just need a friend that has that listening ear, if nothing else. Often times, once we start our venting or pity party sessions, a lot of answers to questions you might have had, will be revealed to you.

Lean on and trust on that trusted friend when you need them the most. Note to yourself, that's what they are there for!!!! I pray that all of your days will be filled with love and happiness but if you find a day in your life that has thrown that balance off.....consider talking to that person that is just a phone call away........and technology keeps changing, someone brilliant invented the video call system of Skype, now you can not only talk to your friends and family, but you can actually see them while you talk to them.


BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!!

MY STAR PLAYER

Everyone, meet my star player of the NBA league, DERRICK ROSE!! Would I blog about him? YES!!! Other people do and actually get paid a nice penny too, nontheless. I on the other hand is indeed his #1 fan. I admire his humble spirit on and off the court. He is the "go to guy" on the team but yet, doesn't mind sharing the spotlight to make fast-paced decisions amongst other teammates. Sort of reminds me of myself! He gives back to the community and lives as close to a normal life as anyone else as possible. You know money and celeb status does change some people, but I can say not for this player.

DERRICK ROSE is also in transitioning phases in life like myself. He has emerged from his rookie year to the All-Star last year and if you all continue to vote for him, he will make the All-Star team next year and I see a championship ring or two in his future. A lot of respect has to be given to a player who is eager to grow and become the best player that they can be unlike some other NBA players that I won't even bother mentioning.

Those are just a few of the reasons why I admire that man dressed in the garments of the CHICAGO BULLS jersey with what other number could he be.............. #1

HAPPY PINK HOLIDAYS

I love the color PINK! It's my favorite color and sexiest color in the Crayola box. I thought about how this would be a great bedazzled stocking stuffer for your significant others, boo's and wives men: any shade of PINK eye shadow by MAC Comestics. I personally prefer the darker shades of pink around my eyes. It brings out the fiesty side of me and the shy personality that overlaps that often, gets to take a break for the night.

Women: There is a dress that you have in your closet that is`screaming for attention from you.....throw that dress on and add a FIERCE shade of PINK eye shadow and watch the magic unfold. Now ladies beware that PINK is not for everyone to wear and it depends on what it is that you are wearing with it. So don't go out there and Twitpic a picture that is NOT, I repeat NOT....FIERCE and tell folks that I told you to do that to yourself LOL.


Men: Know your woman! Pay attention to the smallest features of her make-up that entice you and let your woman know what hues (colors) look good on her to avoid any mishaps on the runway of your bedroom. I am a woman and when a man notices the smallest things that I add to the evening, such as my make-up, it shows your interest in me even more. Don't just take my word for it, try it out and see the results......

BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!! ROCK YOUR FIERCE PINK EYESHADOW FOR A DAY OR EVENING DURING THE HOLIDAYS!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAVE A SAFE AND SEXY NEW YEARS TO ALL!!!

CAN MEN & WOMEN BE FRIENDS?

Wow.....that title and question is a blog all by itself, don't you think? I searched for topics to blog about today and even sought out feedback on the winner: Can Men & Women Be Friends?

My answer: I think that it is possible for men and women to be friends as long as it's an honest friendship. Now several sources today admitted of playing the friendship role after all other attempts failed. That is odd and creepy to me a little bit. I have very special male friends and some are even my bff's. I trust them completely and let my girly guards down and enjoy the friendship bond we share. So it would be hard for me to view them as anything else other than my friend. I hear this "settle for friend" approach from the guys pretty much but I wouldn't dare count the ladies out of feeling this way too. I wonder why is that?.......The logical foundation for building a relationship with someone is to become friends first......so why is it so difficult (for me at least) to turn a friendship into a potential relationship?

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic.......................

A Letter to my Readers

Dear Friends,

I heard Keyshia Cole say in her 106th & Park interview that she got tired of singing about heartaches and pain. Funny how I can relate, only I'm not singing but writing and advocating the painful memories for women that deal with domestic violence. I almost pulled the plug on everything: motivational speaking engagements, 2010 book release of "Forgiven, but Not Forgotten(sequel to God, Do I Hear Wedding Bells?), domestic violence blog website, website and all other venues that housed me a platform to speak on, or about domestic violence. It's a sad discussion and anybody that knows me, know that I am a bubbly, unique and fashionista inspired person..... add a bookworm in there somewhere and that perfectly describes me! So when I have to constantly talk about such a traumatic experience for other victims and survivors, it drains me literally.

Did I mention that I may have wanted to change the notes on my tunes and blog about lip gloss vs. lipstick, fashion, men, the single life and all other social collaborations of being a woman?.....A black woman at that. Then God sends a message in my heart and there I go blogging again....LOL....I'm not complaining, I recognize my gift and I do what thus saith the Lord, as much as possible. The joy I get is when a reader or follower of my blogs speak about the knowledge or wisdom they gained from what topic I spoke on. I even have a reader that challenges me to explore my topics and relate them to men. So you see, it's not always about what you want to do....it's about the assignment that God has for your life and if He was so kind to share that revelation with you, you better get busy my friend, doing His work.

I agree with Keyshia Cole announcement that she's over singing the old bitter ballads we've come to love her for and I share a multitude of painful experiences through life that has taught me plenty. I won't stop blogging about domestic violence but I will say this..........I will continously be fed spiritually with whatever I blog about because that is important to me first (I actually have a meditation practice I do before blogging).

As I grow and learn new and exciting things, I will share them with you and I appreciate all of the positive and heartfelt feedback that you give me daily. So get ready for an exciting new ride and be blessed in all that you do......


Love,
Felicia


BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

WHEN A WOMAN LOVES

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Today was my first time seeing this performance by hit making, R & B artist R. Kelly or Kelz as we like to call him. It's been a long time since he's been out at award events and I must say, I enjoyed every moment of this performance.

When he sung the doo-whop version of his song, When A Woman Loves, it touched my heart. I immediately related this song and performance to how women should love a person literally. Love should be at all times exciting, carefree, commitment, suitable compromising, healthy, fun, colorful, adventurous and so forth. Kelz did an outstanding job of vocally singing this song to a very excited audience both on television and live at the 2010 Soul Train Awards.

Women have been described by society as the most exotic, verbal and emotional creatures on this beautiful earth. When we love a person that's it, we give over 100% of our being to that person. A woman will give a man chance after chance or she will dismiss him quick as lightening if he crosses her the wrong way. I'll be the first to admit that I have confused lust with love plenty of times. Women have a passionate, mentally and soulfully experience when they are introduced to love. There's like an unknown power she holds in her soul that no one can break that bond she shares with that person.

I won't keep you long, but I just had to share this theory with you. Love should never be a hurtful experience. I hope you enjoyed this performance as much as I did and learn how to love........love!


BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

THE SUN WILL SHINE AGAIN

Storms brewing or passing in your life, fear not, the day will come again and the sun will shine again in your life. A lot of people in this world today are jobless and lack some of the basic and essential daily needs. As a survivor of domestic violence, I am a witness that after all of the pain of being involved in a physical and emotional abusive marriage....the sun will shine again! Pick yourself up when the world knocks you down! Dust the dirt off of your shoulders if that's a better dialogue for you to understand. Don't let nothing or no one tell you that you can't be or do something.

Here are some facts about the sun I reserached online:

The Sun is one out of billions of stars. The Sun is the closest star to Earth. The Sun rotates once every 27 days. The Sun is now a middle-aged star, meaning it is at about the middle of its life. The Sun formed over four and a half billion years ago. You may think the Sun will die soon, but it will keep shining for at least another five billion years.

Without the Sun, Earth could not support life. The Sun gives off heat and light that the Earth needs to support life (us).

I don't know if you caught the revelation in those facts but it was enough to make me look trouble in the face and await for the sun to shine again over any situation. I've cried many of times about the same situations and cried out to God my deepest desires and either there was no response from the universe or I just gave up and moved on to something else to worry me. I'll leave you with a statement that a dear friend and mentor said to me when I was unemployed and trying to start my life over, she said...."The universe can't say NO forever". Those words I leave with you...when it rains, relax, don't worry because the sun will shine again and again and again and like the facts above said, the sun is no where near about to die soon!

BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!!!

THE SINGLE LIFE

Earlier last week, I tweeted and made my Facebook status as such: "Just because you are a good man, doesn't mean that you are a good man for me". I have to admit that I was sick and had dosed off to sleep, suddenly awoke and my mind blurted that theory out loud. It still holds true to me regardless if I was conscious or not....I'm just thankful that I remembered all of the words to make note of it. You know what's next......let's explore this further:

I am single, in case you didn't know. I experience the highs and lows of the single life just like anyone else. There are moments when I enjoy the stillness in my own space, the pace of my own beat, interacting with my own feelings and emotions, enjoying the festivities of travel and foods on my own. Then, there are times that I go to a Bulls basketball game or watch it on television and wonder what it would be like again to have a special someone next to me to hoop and holler at the players and refs when bad calls have been made. Or what about that person to share this life with and include them into my daily activities and not be considered selfish or bitter by society?

I'm okay today with being single....now tomorrow or even five minutes from now, that decision may change. The gift that lies in that change is that, I'm not alone! God knows exactly where my Mr. Right is and the place where He will introduce us. So there is no need for me to rush my gift (a good man of God) into existence by dating countless men and forcing them to be what they were never designed to be to me.....a good man of God. This is where the single life can be a blessing or a cursing for some. I like to borrow from Pastor Jamal Harrison Bryant thought, "A person should only add value to your life". Just because you meet a good person, doesn't mean that they will add value to your life. Value is not only defined by material or financial status. For example, you can meet a good man/woman and they don't like kids or have no intentions of having kids. You on the other hand, either already have a child or in the future, plan to nurture a little Brady Bunch of your own. This should let you know to cease any higher levels in dating this person. Sure, they're a good person, but just not good for you.

The single life is what you make it. Get out there and enjoy life, work hard, treat others with kindness and surely the heavens will open up, and as the good 'ol preacher says and so does the Bible, God will pour you out a blessing! That blessing can be a lifetime of happiness with a companion that is compatiable to you and exceed whatever you thought was your value. Being single is not the end of the world. Give that time in your life to God and focus on you and your needs so that when Mr. Right comes along, you will know how to receive that blessing from God and thank Him, daily.

This month's book selection is written by Bishop T.D. Jakes called BEFORE YOU DO it talks about steps that you need to take before making important decisions in your life.