HAPPY NEW YEAR SURVIVORS!!!

Welp, I'm pretty sure by now, you've listed the many resolutions or goals you're setting forward to accomplish in the new year of 2013.  The infamous weight loss resolution, finding love, letting go of a love one, reading more, going back to school, graduating from school, starting your own business, reconstructing your business, etc.  WHATEVER it is that you decide to do and for however long you decide to do it (y'all know some of y'all only last a day with some of those resolutions), continue to speak LIFE into your goals, dreams and/or resolutions.  Don't aim to let your first step be too HUGE that you miss the journey once you accomplish it (you need reflection periods to stay focused on implementing your goals).  Try somethings small and you'll be amazed at how far you will go......

When I started ANMF, it took a simple email to some CLOSE & DEPENDABLE friends, sharing my thoughts on what I wanted to do to help others......I kid you not, a month later, I launched an official opening kick-off for A New Me Foundation.  I had no plans, no money to start a business, no board members...... nothing!  I just spoke out loud to someone else, what I wanted and it was in alignment with God's will and purpose for my life obviously, so it was gonna manifest.  Others followed my story/testimony, wanted to volunteer or just was inspired to lay their hands on me in prayer, encouraging words continuously, gave monetary donations to help me do whatever my heart desired for ANMF..... and I for one am truly GRATEFUL.

My life I know is a just a template for others to say, my God, if she can do it, Lord knows I can.  I was a loud mouth, ghetto fabulous ride a die chick, not interested in anything that made sense in life, conceited, stubborn, rebellious, not educated or motivated to do nothing but get over another day to live into the next day and finally, don't be shocked, but Felicia T. Simpson used to be capital..... L-A-Z-Y.  Oh my God, was I lazy.  I had the mindset that I shouldn't have to do nothing but dress fly, get my hair and nails done and party.  THANK GOD THOSE DAYS ARE OVER.  I never set goals, being foolish, I saw blessings as "luck" but again, THANK GOD THOSE DAYS ARE OVER.

If you aren't prepared for the MANY sacrifices, setbacks, tears, hard work, studying, networking, that goes with seeing your goals accomplished.... then stop what you're doing and don't even set yourself up for failure.  NO ONE is gonna accomplish YOUR goals but YOU.  If you were like me and was lazy, starting a business is not for you.  I always tell people, if you don't think you're suppose to mop the floors or clean the walls of the place where your business will be housed, then that's not your place or position as a leader: A LEADER IS A SERVANT FIRST.  Volunteer somewhere in the field that you want to start your business doing.  Get an experienced work out partner who will truly teach the disciplines one needs to get and maintain a healthy lifestyle.  You want to be a writer or only write a book about your testimony.....simple, read books on biographies to get an idea of various writing formats, research different publishing companies and/or self-publishing companies, copyrights information and options, etc.  Who is your target population that you know will read your books?  Interview that target population to see what kind of books are out there already and what's not in those books to make sure you add it into yours.  Those are just a few things that can get you started in 2013.

Finally, my goal for 2013 is: since I have failed Spanish 101 ....FOUR....times in undergrad and has now become my setback to getting my Bachelor's degree in Criminal Justice, I'm going to spend the next two years studying and learning the Spanish language and culture BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.  That means using online tutorials, visiting Spanish museums, restaurants, stores, networking with Spanish business owners, purchasing study guides, flash cards and using the textbooks that I already own and getting busy.  Just as I put forth the many efforts to make my home, children, family, relationship, friends, strangers and anything else a success or reach their maximum potentials, I need to put that same energy into Spanish and I can't wait to see what the outcome of this goal is gonna be in two years....... so stay tuned!!!!

BE BLESSED AND SAFE THIS NEW YEAR'S EVE AND CONTINUE TO HELP US BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN OUR COMMUNITIES ALSO IN 2013 AND UNTIL ALL VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN AND THEIR CHILDREN HAVE ENDED. 

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

Women bare more than the strength of a lion.  We give birth to beautiful children, care for our homes and families, make time for our passions (some of us get paid for doing what we love to do), heal the sick, mend the broken pieces found in others, but so often we NEGLECT ourselves.  Well ladies, it's time to take better care of YOU!!! 

These thoughts comes to mind because as a survivor of domestic violence, I no longer take for granted the simple things in life: taking a walk a long the beach, yes, if you live in Chicago, the weather isn't that bad.....try it!  Or for myself, I love taking pictures, especially nature shots (birds, land, flowers, trees, water, bugs, etc), for me, it's the best meditation after a hard work week. I've learned to appreciate the smallest or simplest things in life that guess what?  MAKES ME HAPPY.  

I come across so many women that can tell me EVERYTHING about what their kids, spouses, families and friends love to do and how they "go all out" for them, but when I ask them the question, what do YOU enjoy doing?  Their faces are beyond blank, or their minds are racing with thoughts to quickly answer the question, due to lack of knowledge or they never thought about what they actually like to do.  Women, women, women, get your lives back in order and do something for YOU.  Tell the hubster to watch the kids, cause momma is going out in the world to enjoy her some, "me time".  If you're single, reorganize that calendar and get to stepping as Martin Lawrence would say and find your passion, perfect your hobbies, read a book, sing a song...... just do something that relaxes your mind from the chaos of the world.  

It took me to escape to Milwaukee, Wisconsin to find out that I love to write.  The crazy thing is, I wrote everyday in my journals, but my mind could not articulate that I love to write stories, or deal with my problems and frustrations through writing.  To me, I was simply doing something out of habit.  So once I figured out that my passion was writing, four books that I've written have been self published, I began blogging because it was my feelings not expressed in my journal but on the internet so that others can read it and know that they too can survive and live a victorious life.  I help women, their children and their families who have been affected by domestic violence so you can imagine how much speaking and writing I have to do.

What is your passion?  What makes you smile while in the mist of doing it?  What helps you inspire and empower others?  That thing or those things that are the answer to those questions are all things that YOU need to do and do in the lives of others.  I was being interviewed for an online article and was asked about how I feel when people or organizations "copy" what I do with my foundation?  My answer was simple, I feel nothing, I've given them a template to use and what else would I expect them to do but use it.  I don't feel like people copy me and the things I'm doing in our communities.  It makes me proud to know and see when someone comes to me seeking help and ways to help others and start executing their passions.  I say that to say, while doing your passions and perfecting your hobbies, you are not only helping yourself and possibly your families, but there's a slight chance that you'll help birth someone else's passions.

So let's recap, busy woman of God, SLOW DOWN, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF and finally, DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND SMILE ON THE INSIDE THAT PRODUCES FRUIT ON THE OUTSIDE.



HELP BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN OUR COMMUNITIES.

THE WORLD LOOKS DIFFERENT TODAY

The world looks different today.
Not just any different.
Somethings have changed,
I've changed!!
The things that used to upset me, don't now.
The places I used to go for what I thought was fun, 
no longer excites me.
The world looks different today.
Not just any different.
Somethings have changed.
I've changed!!!
The people who I once loved and would do almost anything for,
are no longer my priority.
As the days go by, I noticed the growth in my love and commitment I invest in my kids,
instead of neglecting them and expecting society to raise them.
I told you, the world looks different today.
It's because I'm different today.
God has erased my past and now I look at things differently.
The pain that I had, 
I released it to God.
That love I lost, 
I thanked God that He had someone for me that loves me wholeheartedly now,
and time prepared me to receive it.
The tears I used to cry have been far removed from me.
The fears I used to have, I stand boldly in front of them now.
See, in order to see a difference, you first must be different.
Remove the toxins and distractions in your life.
Accept who you are, your flaws and begin a new work within you.
When you feel like giving up, remember the journey you set forth on 
and know that the world will look different to you, 
once you open your eyes up to view it.

A Poem Written for the Domestic Violence Tragedy of the NFL's Kansas City Chief's Linebacker, Jovan Belchr and His Girlfriend

The hands that once caressed my body 
you now fill them with resentment towards me.
The warm nights that were full of laughs and tickles,
is now greeted with yells and pain from your fists.
Nothing I do ever seems good enough for you now,
in the beginning, every little bit counted.
Look at our child, what do you see?
Fear, pain, love, hate, confused, later in life possibly self mutilation, a VICTIM!
What happened to yesterday morning?
You said you'd get some help.
What happened to yesterday late afternoon?
You sent me the most beautiful roses with a note that said,
I'M SORRY & I LOVE YOU, PLEASE FORGIVE ME.
What happened to last night after we made love and you held me tight?
You said you would stop drinking and getting so upset with me.
Let me tell you what happened?
IT WAS ALL A LIE!! 
The problem is, I can't tell anyone else that because,
shortly after we made love and you held me tight,
you suddenly became angry again and little did I know,
you had a gun under your pillow.
All of the questions I had for you about yesterday,
will NEVER be answered because now,
TODAY, my family mourns my death and our child  
is now without both of their parents, because not only 
did you take my life, you took yours too.
But again, the hands that once caressed my body
are no longer there because the same hands that were gentle
at one point communicated best with my body in the end
with a gun that laid both of us to eternal rest.
The cries I once had are no longer and hopefully now,
someone can live their life to fullest cause I lost mine.
My life is in Heaven now.




I was reading several articles in regards to this tragedy and I'm not here to blame either parties.  As an advocate and survivor of domestic violence, I am well aware of what all could've and should've been done to help prevent this.  NOT knowing how to see domestic violence warning signs in a potential partner could someday lead to YOUR death.  Not everyone makes it out ALIVE!  The poem I wrote is my overall take on domestic violence and the cycle that victims go through.  This poem was NOT written to give detailed accounts of what happened in this specific murder/suicide.  To me, BOTH of them became victims in the end, and now, their families have been charged by God and society to help all of us BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN OUR COMMUNITIES.