Look At Me

Several months ago, after a speaking engagement I had, I came across a young lady who was sharing with me that her friend was in a domestic violence relationship and that she also cuts herself to deal with it. For whatever reason, that young lady was just placed on my heart and I did what I only know best, I decided to write about it. Now this writing is different for me because I had to pretend or act as if I was the young lady who cuts herself. I thought about possible feelings and things that this young lady would do and be going through. I wanted to post pictures of what cutting looks like but they were too graphic. Check it out my poem on this:

I'm the one that ministers to everyone

People look up to me

but yet I cry alone at night

I speak about violence against women

But continues to self inflict myself

Doubt myself

Self esteem is a half a mile away from the end

Yesterday marinates with today

I haven't forgotten anything

memories I still long for

I failed in life

That's what I tell myself

Look at me

I'm broken can't you see?

Hiding behind the fake smiles,

hard work and determination

Resides a woman that still lives a double life

If the world only knew once the performance is done

I hurt myself

in the privacy of my powder room

The pain feels so good

like my lover in between the sheets

Only it doesn't take as long for me to reach this climax

He beats me...... I beat me

When I walk outside these doors, no one knows my silent story

I wear clothes to cover up the sores

Until the day my dear friend

grabbed me by the hand

I lied to cover up the shame

But I knew our friendship would never be the same

I asked her not to tell anyone if I told her the truth

She promised and said this will stay between me and you

I raised up my sleeves and she cried a multitude of tears

Look at me

What do you see?

She blamed herself for not noticing what I felt

Even offered to take me to get some help

No one can know about this

For the good book says

This too shall pass

I'll stop

I tell her

as soon as she leaves

I race to that familiar room and began a new

line of piercings in my flesh

Only this time, I became so afraid that my secret would be told

so ended it all with a slash across my neck..............

For this young lady, we were too late to help her but this is an eye opener to society to help others before it's too late. When you come across a victim of domestic violence, you have a cocktail or mixture of other problems with the victim besides the abuse they are receiving from their partner. Again, I say, this is not a true story that I know of, just wanted to explore what could happen if we don't help victims of domestic violence before they commit suicide.

Here's a link that provides information about cutting: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/self-injury/DS00775/DSECTION=symptoms

"I don't think anyone wants to cut when they are being listened to." S. Hein

If you or someone is experiencing this, please seek medical and professional help!

Be Blessed!!!