Poem: MY LIFE

At the first appearance of daylight,

trouble saluted me

I tried to remain prostrate

hoping the thoughts would go away

Stressing over life

loosing weight

drinking and smoking cigarettes

Petitioned to God to please hurry and fix my life

Tried doing things my way

and the determination of the enemy directions

is overpowering me

Where is my breakthrough?

Screaming to the heavens

for peace to be still

and chaos commands attention in my life

This is my life

this is all I know

Momma and grandma went through it and now it's my turn

I've been a rebel, broken and torn

Lovers here and there to fill an empty void

Never dealt with my past

until now ..........

It won't allow me to sweep it under the rug anymore

I drink the pain away and I smoke to deal with the memories

of fear and suffering

instead of simply breaking the silence

Talking about it and taking a stand is easier said than done

But this is my life

people won't understand my problems

They have problems of their own

Who would care about mine?

He wouldn't let me die in peace

so suicide isn't an option for me

But these constant headaches, lack of sleep and bruises

are killing me silently anyway

Friends and family encourage me to leave daily

but never offer me a place to stay

Leave and be alone and homeless? Leave my children fatherless?

No, it's easier to just deal with it

I'm stupid and too ugly to face this world alone

well at least that's what he says about me

This is my life

I should be allowed to do what I want to do with it right?

Help seems so far away so until God shows me otherwise,

this is my life and I'm deciding to stay!

I wrote this poem from a victim's point of view to the world for always asking....why do you stay in an abusive relationship? Hope this open the eyes of victims to break this cycle and for the world to have more compassion and not blame the victim for the abuse they receive from their batterer.

HELP BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN OUR COMMUNITIES!!!