"Do You Love Me?"

While the absence of my writing have been obvious to some people including myself, God has never let my pen stay away for too long from me.  The words or question He asked me was, "Do you love Me?"  I knew instantly that question wasn't necessarily for me (yes, I love the Lord, daily and it didn't happen over night).  That question was for someone out there who is feeling down or scared to move towards a new beginning because they've left behind a loved one to seek a better life for themselves, a toxic relationship, a bad habit, a job that defined their lifestyle, a doctor's diagnosis of the end for them as they know it.  If you love the Lord like I do, you know that no matter what you see or don't see in front of you, He will provide ALL of your needs.  Not some of them but ALL of them.  I was delirious I believe this past weekend, I'm blaming the enemy and the meds that I was taking due to a severe toothache (fractured, split and abscess)..... OUCH!!! The enemy had me doubting EVERYTHING but the faith of a muster seed that I have knew it was him (the enemy) and his tricks and I diverted my energy and thoughts ASAP.  Until a dear friend pointed it out, I read a 1,000 books but never once picked up the Bible to see what the Lord had to say about my doubts.  Yes I read my daily devotionals with scriptures attached to them.  But I haven't nestled up under a blanket and got lost in the Bible for hours like I would reading a good Toni Morrison book.  Oh but thy faithfulness still spoke to me and asked, "Do you love Me?"  See to love someone is to have an open heart, mind, body and soul experience with someone else. God was asking me to give to Him the love that is due to Him just as I do and better than I love my children, family, boyfriend, students and anyone else that I show an unexplainable amount of love to.  His words said, "If you love me, why haven't I heard from you about the doubts you're having?"  Just as a child that has done something wrong, I instantly felt convicted.  A conviction of love not of condemnation.  You see people will write you off once you've done something wrong, but God NEVER will.  I felt the power of God show up in my life, although I haven't seen the results of my prayers, I know they are headed my way.

I have a coworker that always affirm to me that when you do right, things always have to work out for you.  I'm gonna stretch that statement and affirm and say that when you love the Lord with all thy heart and with all thy mind and with all thy soul...... Jesus is on the mainline and headed your way!

Ask yourself, do you love the Lord?  Whatever your answer is currently at this moment, He will help you and He has NEVER turned his back on you.  I think that my faith is so strong in the Lord that to even make the grounds I walk on, even tremble, the enemy almost has to take my life to make his presence known.  The last three days in February was a blessing in disguise.  I was given a house to move in by my sister for me and my family to live in.  So I had THREE days to move out of the "Bulls room", paint the famous red wall back white in the condo, rent a truck, find some help to move and once that was ACCOMPLISHED, the gas couldn't get turned on because the the squatter that was living RENT FREE there, broke the pipelines (we didn't know this) from hooking the water line illegally and the basement was flooded.  The technician could not turn on the gas and heat which made the house for us unlivable at that moment.  Now I was in attack mode now against the devil.  So my mind says, I've been living in my condo for over a year, call myself moving out and into a house and to basically be homeless cause now me and my family are at my sister house.  Oh there was a bunch of curse words to be inserted there.  BUT GOD...... stepped in and said, "Do you love Me?  Do you trust Me?"  I knew the answers to those questions were a big fat "YES."  But I wasn't walking in my answers.  Since, the city of Chicago water management has come out, a plumber, others who have skills in this area to lend a helping hand and I promise you I know the answer to this problem or setback for a setup by God is that He has the final say on this.  I've taken my hands and mind off it.  I started thanking him for providing a ram in the bush (my sister) for even allowing us to stay with her in her home.  I start praising God for allowing the problem to happen BEFORE we actually lived and slept there.  I started praising God that the renovations that are needed for the house from the squatter living there for years are MINOR!!! Oh, I really pissed the enemy off........ that sucker snatched my voice and throat days later all in one day, guess he said, "That'll shut her up with all of that praising God."


But God.........

Said to the enemy (I feel like), "She loves me, watch this, even as my servant Job was tested and showed himself approved of the love and favor of God, so will she."  I became aware of the enemies plan and put on my full armor of God.  I couldn't praise out loud, but you bet your fancies I was praising him in my mind and heart.  Tears flowed every day because I couldn't talk, eat, drink liquids..... NOTHING!  That was a fast even without being planned.  Everytime I tried to speak a word the enemy held it but that lasted for so long.  I just got up to write after days of lying down because God said to me, "Get up, take your mat up and write."  The devil may have physically stolen my voice for a little while but my love for God kept me in perfect peace throughout the storms of life that's all around me.  I couldn't speak but God spoke for me, I believe on behalf of my love for Him.  I'm sitting here with an abled body and mind and today I spoke out against the plans of the enemy.  Go away Satan, you no longer have authority of my voice, God does and he instantly had to flee from me.  Will he return, sure, that's his job but I am grounded in my love for God and my faith is unmoveable.

Whatever you are facing today, take up your mat of fear, pity, depression, questions, doubts and hand over to the God that you love and better get to trusting daily that provides for you, comforts you, blesses you and not only you but anyone connected to you.  Ain't God good?  I LOVE HIM...........