WE ALL SHARE THE SAME STORY

I went to a conference yesturday that discussed health topics and issues for women of color. So of course, by all means, they had a workshop on Domestic Violence. The presentors amazingly, didn't facilitate using diagrams, PowerPoint slides and the what nots....they simply talked with the ladies. We now know that Domestic Violence is a hidden or "hushed" crime. Many African Americans, especially women, are taught at an early age that, whatever goes on in the house, stays in the house. This has effected so much of our society that words almost can't even give an accurate description of this horrific and silent crime.

It also amazes me that each and everytime I'm in a room with very beautiful and intelligent women, I notice one thing: we all share the same story! The same stories of abuse, anger, guilt, shame, needs, wants, goals, children, married, single, divorced, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, hearts broken, dreams shattered and a host of other testimonies.

I sat there in my seat, literally with my hands planted under my thighs. I have to do this sometimes inorder to allow myself to be the student and not always be the teacher. Hearing the women talk about all of the similar stories of personal experiences with domestic violence or of a dear friend or family member that's involved currently in an unhealthy relationship.

Alot of women share the same stories of how their mothers or grandmothers were abused and it was just the "way of life". That is absolutely unnacceptable in today's society. The Feminist movement allowed us women, to stand up for ourselves, vote and live our lives to the best of our abilities and in the safe havens of our own homes. The stories that we share have no room to create boundaries based off of race or economic backgrounds. As we all know, domestic violence does NOT visit only a selected few of species.

Domestic violence is a community crime: if it effects one of us, it affects ALL of us!

Whenever you get a room full of women who have been abused, you will hear the same stories how they were walking around on eggshells daily, fears of being alone or even fears of dying. The same stories of how at night, they meditated on how they wanted to kill their abuser but thought about their children being without a mother and father, afterwards. Name calling and manipulation tactics or similar threats, are also included in hearing the same stories as well. Last but not the least, we all share the same stories of being stressed out due to the lack of sleep that a victim doesn't get because of her abuser, keeping up chaos to deprive them of sleep.

I encourage each victim or survivor to get involved in any available support groups or have a buddy system with another person and listen carefully to each other and you will be amazed of one thing certainly: we all share the same story!

God bless you, I pray for your strength and let's continue to BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!