GET TO KNOW YOURSELF.....& PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME!!!!!

I have read countless comments on social medias from single women that have ended one relationship and one week later have begun another one. GET TO KNOW YOURSELF ......& PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME! When a woman or man for that matter, does this self gratifying act, you miss key issues and personality traits that lies within yourself and this new partner.

Dating is meant to be fun and if there is a key player on the fields of dating, the chance to make commitments and see where things press on from there. EVERYBODY YOU DATE IS NOT TO BE VISIONED TO ESCORT YOU DOWN THE AISLE LADIES. Don't miss out on the fun of dating because you're too busy picking out what color your brides maids dresses will be. You will scare the man away before a second date could be scheduled. I AM NOT A RELATIONSHIP GURU.....but some things and with experience, have just come naturally to me as common sense.

I told a co-worker that I am just enjoying my life right now with my boyfriend. I have learned from my mistakes of past failed relationships and dating horror stories, to share a few tips here. I feel that after a break up you need time to reflect, heal, and FOCUS on you and those around you. YES THAT SHOULD BE DONE PRIOR TO THE RELATIONSHIP AS WELL. But for those of you that are pretty much hard headed after me, it usually happens after.

I am the first to admit that in the past, I would date guys and do whatever it was that they wanted and expected of me to do..... kind of the go along with their theory to keep the peace and keep the man....... BIGGEST MISTAKES IN MY LIFE!!! This is not a male bashing blog, I have no problem doing things that my partner wants me to do but at this point in my life, I have my own identity that allows me to acknowledge that their must be balance in the relationship. It took me to get away to a quiet little city known as Milwaukee in Wisconsin, to get to know ME. I asked myself the following questions (this was after a breakup):

1.) What do I like to do?

2.) What is it in life, that I want to achieve?

3.) What kind of life do I want for my children, that will allow them to contribute to society?

Simple, three questions! That's what I thought and the answers to these questions are written in my journal. You see, I had just broken up with my boyfriend and life was all about him and his needs so I was a confused being when I was alone. The question, "So now what do I do?" was ever present on the tip of my tongue. I had no clue that I enjoyed writing, reading, having discussions about topics of the world and the Bible, etc. EVERYTHING had been about my partner. It took awhile for me to discover for myself the things that I like and the things that I didn't. It also helped me to identify later on while dating, those individuals that I could commit to and those that don't stand a chance.

I say all of this to say, that there is a time in life, where you need to know yourself and be ok with who you are before committing to a relationship that's doomed from the start. A relationship should "add value to your life" (Pastor Jamal Harrison Bryant), not take from it. This statement does not mean financial value - although there is a component for financial value - but for the purpose of this blog: TWO WHOLE PEOPLE SHOULD COME TOGETHER TO CREATE A UNION. Why would you want a partner that hasn't healed from their past in your life? Vice verse why would you give unto your partner, an unstable being?

I'm gonna give you a moment here to reflect on that!

GET TO KNOW YOURSELF .......& PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME!!

The person you were a month, year or five years ago should NOT be the same person with the same thoughts.... TODAY! If you don't see growth in your life.........life has passed you by and you need to get with positive influences and get on board of this train we call LIFE.

Don't spend another moment in an unhealthy and unhappy relationship. Ask God for the strength to deliver you out of it! I am a witness that He will and I read this scripture almost daily to myself, and I'm gonna pass it on to you:

Isaiah 61

The Year of the Lord's Favor

¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,because the Lord has anointed meto preach good news to the poor.He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,to proclaim freedom for the captivesand release from darkness for the prisoners,^[a]

² to proclaim the year of the Lord's favorand the day of vengeance of our God,to comfort all who mourn,³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beautyinstead of ashes,the oil of gladnessinstead of mourning,and a garment of praiseinstead of a spirit of despair.They will be called oaks of righteousness,a planting of the Lordfor the display of his splendor.

That which is in bold in that scripture, is my favorite and I apply it to myself.....He will give me beauty (blessings) for my ashes (setbacks, trials and tribulations). You have to love a God that will declare His unconditional love for you.

I would not be serving my purpose if the thoughts in my soul did not pour out in abundance in this blog. Think about what I've said, use it in your life and pass it on to that friend or family member that has not cleansed their mind, body and soul from one relationship, before jumping into another one.

I leave you with uptmost love and inspiration with this video to meditate on:

BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN OUR COMMUNITIES!!!!