You ever wanted to do so much, for so many people and squeeze time in, to also do something nice for yourself? Well now is the perfect time to admit it..... your answer(s) were probably YES! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with helping other people. The key is balance and with some people, it requires balance and discipline. I tred waters softly here. I’ve had to learn this valuable lesson over the pass few years and even recently. So please be aware that I’ve had first hand experiences of what is often called “burn-outs”.
According to www.dictionary.com , a burn-out is defined as a physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress. So often, we want to help everyone else out and neglect our own basic survival needs such as, maintaining good eating, exercing habits and adequate amounts of rest each night. I get it, some of our brains work better at night, while others have completed their workloads before the sun is out shining. We are overworked and or stress at other times because we’re afraid to tell people, “NO!” .....
I need you to practice here, how to say, “NO!”
One more time, and make sure you say it like you mean it, “NO!”
Now, I didn’t say not to be kind while saying “NO!”. Effective communication means the world to me. You never know who you may need to collaborate with, invest in someday or simply, an extra perk that will get you through the pearly white gates of heaven. Don’t overwork yourself or stress yourself over things that are beyond your control or capacity to change at this appointed time. I know, sounds easier said than done.
I personally love what the good book of life, the Bible, says: "Don't wear yourself out trying to get rich. Be wise enough to know when to quit." (NLT)
See how simple it is to recognize ways to avoid burn-outs? Learn when to quit! We've been taught so much, never to quit. In some instances yes, but NEVER to the point where you are exhausted or what you're doing is becoming a health issue to you and/or the clients you serve. Keep in mind, you have to practice what you preach as cliche as it sounds. I remember the deciding factors of me going around, motivating victims of domestic violence and educating communities, was the fact that I was in a healthier place in life. I couldn't advise a woman to leave her unhealthy relationship if I was still in one. It just doesn't work that way unfortunately. Most people learn by what you do, rather than what you say. I pride myself on my work ethics especially in the domestic violence field. It takes courage to reveal the most intimate parts of someones life, to the public. Not everyone will understand your journey or calling. Everyone won't support every idea or endeavor you embark on. That's ok. If God gave you the vision, He will provide the people or the person to help you carry it out. Sometimes God needs you to step out of your comfort zone(s) away from the people that would usually say "Yes" to everything that involves you. He'd rather have you collaborate on a project whose business is struggling and could use a little bit of your help.
Speaking of collaborations, you can avoid burn-outs by sharing responsibilities with your colleagues or partners. Don't try to do everything and be in charge of everything. Stay in your lane. If you are not the best grant writer, give that task to the person or persons who are better at it than you. In some cases and if funds are available, hire the experts that's needed. You'd be surprised at how much the heavy loads you'd be relieved of if you delegate certain tasks to other people.
Still feel burned out? Try taking some time to just relax and do absolutely NOTHING! Remove yourself from the project or people that are causing you stress or that are involved directly with the project. No one wants to talk about business when you're trying to RELAX. Take a walk, sing in the shower (off key if you must, we get the point), my favorite: read a book, take a walk to your local Starbucks and get whatever brewed coffee or pastry that puts a smile on your face, paint, listen to soothing music or a Michael Jackson song, the King of Pop music will never stir you wrong, go out side & take pictures of nature. These smartphones have plenty of cool apps that can help us overcome stress and prevent us from being burned out. My favorite app on my i-Devices as I like to call them, is the app called Serenity, did I mention it's FREE. You don't have to go bankrupt in your iTunes account any longer to enjoy the finer things in life: peace, quiet and the melodic sounds of nature.
Being an advocate of domestic violence is no easy task. You are balancing the stress associated within your personal life and at times you endure the crisis of the clients you serve. Some days, I just enjoy being Felicia. Felicia is very quiet and shy in her own skin but can also be very outspoken and interacts with others as well. Networking is one of my specialities. So you’re probably wondering, how is Felicia shy, but loves networking? Here’s the answer, I don’t stress or get burned out over my fears nor accomplishments. I create positive and fun-filled environments to enjoy doing whatever job or project I’m involved in. I had to learn this technique the hard way, in college when I was introduced to a panic attack for overworking myself. Never, I repeat, NEVER again. You're no good to others, if you're not healthy.
Single parents, I hear your silent cries. With your work schedules and balancing kids, that could be very hard to do. As hard as it is, we must take care of ourselves, FIRST. Your children will appreciate that. Take moments out of your day to just BREATHE. Pace yourself. Set schedules, playdates, family outings, etc. on a calendar (preferably a Google, iCloud or Outlook calendar) in advance so that you can visually see what your days, weeks and/or month is going like a head of time. I have an iPhone 4 and iPad, so my calendars are synced to both of my devices and no matter where I am and before I book ANYTHING...... I check my calendars.
If you're a college student, you know the words syllabus and deadline goes hand in hand. If you look at what's due on your syllabus then it should be updated in your calendars. For term papers, create check point days in your calendars. For example, if you have a week to complete a five page paper,don't wait til day four to start on it. If at all possible, as soon as you get the assignment, post the due date and time in your calendar. Next, post check points and times to complete the body of the paper such as when you will create your summary, outline, conclusions. Each body of the work requires a different amount of time. So be careful of scheduling too much in one night. Tell your friends and colleagues that they're gonna have to go to happy hour without you, you have a paper that's due. This is where saying, "NO!" comes in handy. Remember what we talked about? Practice again saying "NO!" here if you need to.
Bottom line: Make your calendars your NEW bff's and avoid burn-outs while accomplishing your dreams and goals while serving others.
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