Our communities are suffering in silence because too many people are afraid to speak out against various injustices. We have been taught, "What goes on in this house, stays in this house." Not teaching our children that if you are being abused, molested or pressured to do illegal activities, those are times when you need to tell someone, immediately, what's going on. Some of our youth are growing in households where they are the parents, sadly. Mom is out working three jobs, dad is either not in the house, in jail or worse, an alcoholic who is unaware and/or inattentive to the child needs, anyway. This scenario could definitely be switched around as well, no offense to my male readers. I'm aware that single fathers face the same social injustices as single mothers. We are killing ourselves silently from not telling or speaking out and against situations that are wrong or not cute on the surface to speak about per-say.
I remember when I first disclosed what I was going through in a previous marriage. As soon as I finished talking, the people who were in the room with me, knew already what I was going through in that toxic relationship. They were waiting for me to realize the unhealthy situations I had exposed myself, my children, friends and family to. You see, we walk around so prideful, trying to cover up mess when most of the time, it already shows and people are not shocked once you reveal what's or who's been hurting you. Often times, it's too late when we disclose the family secrets. We wait until Uncle Johnny's death bed when he's asking for forgiveness for his sins as the pastor shares with the family, that Uncle Johnny won't be around much longer. That's when we find out Uncle Johnny was beating on Aunt Sally the entire marriage and molesting cousin Susie. See we thought cousin Susie was just strange and noticed how she never wanted to be anywhere near her dad at family functions. You see Uncle Johnny threatened both Susie and Aunt Sally that he'd killed them if they ever told a soul.
Let's examine this closely. No one ever paid attention to the lack of interactions during family functions that Susie displayed or how Aunt Sally took charge of every family function. It was her cover up because she couldn't control the family secrets in her house and that was the only area of control she had. The family never paid attention to huge amounts of medical debts the family incurred because they had no medical insurance for cousin Susie, who had multiple panic attacks each month because she couldn't tell anyone about what her dad was doing to her. So as you can see, what we see on the outside of people isn't really who they are on the inside or could be the outcome of what's going on behind closed doors.
SPEAK OUT, Don't be afraid!
Whenever I facilitate speaking engagements, people always want to know what they can do to help others? I always encourage them to share their testimonies of survival no matter what it is. The more you speak out against what has hurt you in the past, the sooner the healing process can begin and you are empowering yourself, as well as others, at the same time. There's someone out there who needs to hear your story of how you survived something or overcame an obstacle that's business related. Somewhere, in society, someone told you, "NO!" and you are here today, as living proof that you not only accomplished the task of what the naysayer said, but you also are flourishing in the new beginnings set before you because you spoke out against the norms. It humbles me each and every time I get an email, text, inbox message on Facebook or on Twitter stating how a person heard my story and it encouraged them to share their stories with others and now, are helping others get through what they experienced.
I can never imagine what it's like to loose a child due to gun violence. I am thankful for the parents of those fallen angels who have decided to form groups, organizations, foundations, support groups, etc. to help support others who deal with the ongoing bereavements, after the funeral. Some of these families can't easily cope with anger or anxiety as well as others and it's a blessing to see people bond together even through tragedies. It's something amazing to see that you're not alone in this gigantic world, someone else sees your pain and knows all about it first hand. It's comfort to hold someone else hands that survived the same thing(s) you are experiencing currently.
I know a person who exhibits, I would say, outstanding measures of what strength looks like, after the lives of love ones have been taken from you. This beautiful woman to me, has so much grace and mercy towards life and whoever comes across her paths in life. This lady and woman of God, could be bitter, angry and mad at the world for the lost of her loved ones but instead, she works diligently and DAILY to help save lives, raise awareness and educates various communities on domestic violence. Her pain has become her testimony and she thought it not robbery to be selfish but share the lose of her loved ones lives to promote peace and to help build healthy relationships with others (my words not hers). I've never met this woman face to face but through our divine connection, via social medias, I consider her a pillar of the community that everyone should know and respect. Her smile is irreplaceable. Now I'm not saying that she doesn't battle some days stricken with grief but because she loves hard, endures her strength from our God, she gets through those unbearable moments and her support system is EPIC, which I'm sure helps out a lot.
Support systems are key people in your life that will help carry you through seasons, trials and tribulations. This same group of people will also acknowledge your accomplishments, celebrate your milestones and support your greatest endeavors along this journey of life with you. Your support systems will be there no matter what obstacles or happiness may bring in your life and in your lives together.
Self reflection moment: Who is your greatest support system(s)?
I would send those people you listed a "Thank you" note in some capacity. You always want to thank the people who helped you along the way. We all need people in our lives at some point. You can't do everything by yourself. Speaking out not only helps you but it also helps others discover their purpose in life.
I was told in 2006 that I should write my story of what I've gone through with domestic violence. At first, I wasn't confident in my writing to write a story nor get my writing published, oh and chile to have someone read it was not in my vision at all. After all, I always kept journals and consistently wrote in them, enjoyed randomly sending handwritten note cards to parishioners to help encourage them, I always won handwriting contests in grammar school, so you see, me becoming a writer was too far fetched in my eyes....I'm being sarcastic here. It was as if an epiphany had taken place. At the time, all things that I've done related to writing, so of course I should write a book. One book led to two, which led to three and here we have arrived at my four self-published books. Had not my mentor and sister in Christ not spoke out to me, because she saw gifts in me, it possibly would've taken me longer to discover the impact I have in changing lives through writing.....not to mention changing my own life as I write.
Bottom line: Whatever hurts you or limits your ability to progress in life, SPEAK OUT! Don't be afraid!
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