THE EFFECTS OF VERBAL & MENTAL ABUSE

Looking at this title, I'd have to separate the two automatically in order to define them:

Verbal Abuse is saying things that are cruel and hurtful, this person (abuser) may degrade you, curse you, or run down your accomplishments.

Mental/Emotional Abuse is any behavior where someone is attacked verbally, manipulated and or controlled. These behaviors cause the person (victim) to feel afraid, confused, overwhelmed, threatened, powerless, crazy, inadequate, frustrated, or rejected.

Both of these definitions came from the Connections for Abused Women and their Children (C.A.W.C.) 40 Hour Domestic Violence Training Manual. I often refer to this manual. But I see the relationship between the two nonetheless. Moving on, let's explore the effects of these two terms from a victim's perspective. Although no physical scars from being beaten, victims are left with the following (in no specific order and not limited to):

Fear, communication failures with potential partners, low self-esteem, depression, never healing from that abusive relationship/marriage, trust issues with others besides in an intimate relationship, suicide, mental shutdown, anxiety, isolation, weight loss or weight gain, self mutilation, alcohol and/or drug abuse, etc.

These effects are similar to what the victim experiences while in the domestic violence relationship, so if left untreated, they carry it with them once they become or if they become a survivor.

Those effects listed above can be short or long term, depending on the person (victim). For myself it took a lot of time and prayers to build my self esteem back up and it is still a work in progress. Talk to a victim and I promise you that they will assure you that the verbal and emotional abuse lasts longer than the physical abuse did/does. You carry around words and memories not scars. Scars heal and some disappear. But hurtful words and mental pictures live inside of you.

People ask me do I ever cry while giving a speaking engagement about my past? My answer is NO (although I wonder why too). I think it's mainly because I'm pushing through my emotions and visuals of my past to get God's word delivered to His people. Do I cry alone when I think about what I went through ........ YES!!!!! Very often! I am a crybaby so words and emotions hurt me easily. So the effects of verbal and mental abuse was long term for me. It has taken me years to get to this point in my life to be confident in myself and what happened in my life to share with others and to know that I am NOT what my ex husband said that I was or was gonna be.

The effects of verbal and mental abuse is to each it's own. My exposure of domestic violence may be different or the same as yours. Whatever the case is, start the process of forgiveness, healing, prayers and professional help as in therapy (if needed).

BREAK THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!!!!!!